#had a 2-hour long meeting in german

[coupsnim]

hi~ this will be a very lame ask but..

I have been inactive on tumblr for like 6 years and recently returned to it, to caratblr of crs to be specific, yet can't seem to grasp the way of making mutuals or ineracting..

I love your blog and have been following it for a long time, you are so nice creative and seem so heartwarming and your tags make me laugh heh So I thought mb you can give some advice to lil old potato me? <3<3

hii!

this is not lame at all ☺️ first of all, welcome back on tumblr and thank you for following me even though my blog has been a bit of a mess lately!

I'm not someone who interacts a lot so I'm probably not the best person to answer ahah but as a content creator, I tend to follow fellow ccs who make content for the groups I like (mostly svt) and that's how I basically became mutuals with most people

if you are not a content creator, I think reblogging and leaving comments in the tags is the best way to interact - as a cc I can assure we read all the tags and we notice when someone reblogs from us on a regular basis

you can also send an ask as you just did (even on anon if you feel shy and more comfortable, you can always get off anon later on or just write privately to someone if you want them to know your identity) - I see a lot of mutuals who often receive messages from anons, so I think it's quite common and most people usually like receiving these messages! you don't need a specific reason to write to someone, you can maybe just share your opinion on some shared interest

I know it can be intimidating at first, but I can guarantee you that caratblr is a place full of nice people ☺️ as long your blog doesn't look like a bot, you're going to be fine!

[burstinn]

OBSESSIVE

Obsessed! König x Male! Reader

Warnings and notes:

You have been kidnapped

No proofreading again lazy writing

Bad German/ some words are translated

Mentioning that you are just an ordinary guy that works in a cafe. Lee mao

You had a breakdown and are now unresponsive to König. Though the breakdown is not mentioned you are unresponsive now.

"Du bist mein Mann"

König would whisper in your ear, slowly caressing your face lovingly. He didn't care if you cried or screamed, he didn't care if you denied your love for him.

You are his Husband.

And you would learn that soon, you better learn it soon.

He would leave you in his basement for God knows how long. He hid you down here ever since.. He took you..

°°°

You are a normal man really. You work at a small Cafe inthe suburbs as an asisstant manager. You go to the grocers every Friday. You would greet the old lady to help her with her chores everytime you could.

You had a routine, you had a normal life.

Until he came, König he called himself.

"Ahh.. E.. Es Tut.. Mer.. I'm sorry are you closed?"

Though he looked and sounded intimidating, His eyes looked very.. Meek and nervous when you first met him.

König was wearing all dark clothes that day, a hoodie and mask covering his face. His towering figure over the counter almost scared you off into saying 'yes we're closed'. Maybe you should've just said you were closed. So you wouldn't be in this situation. Locked up under this house.

"Oh! No no don't worry! You can order don't worry. You can be my last customer"

You could only see a small shine of happiness and relief in his eyes when you said you were still open. You should've just told him to fuck off..

It was already tiring to clean the equipment and floors and after making his order you had to reclean in again. Past work hours. You should've left hours ago. But you decided to be nice that day... Why.

"I'm sorry.. How much should I pay?"

"It's okay, it's on the house.. You can have your order for free"

You smiled at him.

And that's when he would come over to the cafe.. Every time. He almost became a regular.

But König had strange breaks in between.

It would be 2 weeks, 6 months, 3 months, and 1 year.

He would never explain why, but you shouldn't really ask.. It's none of your business anyway.

You would simply put on a smile at him everytime, cheerily greeting him and already asking him if he was gonna have his same order.

Hell, you even just saved a room for him. A corner in the store, it's obvious by his first meeting he was an anxious man. And you felt for him so everytime maybe to ease him a bit.

You would always strike up a conversation. Even if he doesn't answer, you would talk.

And he eventually did start engaging in conversations. Slowly but surely he would become more lively around you.

He would ask you would answer, you would ask he would answer as well. It was good.

You even had a reason why he had strange long breaks in between visits to the cafe. Apparently, he is a Colonel of a military. What an interesting man, knows how to shout orders but can't speak properly when ordering something?

It was good. Life was good.

You had known König for long enough that you have his number, know his address and know everything about his simple interest.

So does he, even something simple you mentioned he would know. Even if you didn't remember you said that. It impressed you.

He would send you gifts even when he was still in his job in the military. One time he walked in wearing his uniform. Imagine your surprise when it was König, all wide eyed and mouth agape.

"Oh.. Hi! Uhm.. What's your order?"

"Hallo! I'll have my usual, bitte"

"... ", " König..?"

"Ja? Ich bin König!"

"OH MY GOD"

It was funny, he would even do it at times.. But it was obvious he would only do it just to tease you or make fun of you or something.

You would visit his house at times, funnily he would still cover his face around you.. Even though you were friends for like 7 or 8 years?

He even taught you some German.

You'd hang out with each other out of work if König or you had matching schedules to even hang out.

So you guys both plan ahead, never missing any hang outs. Lest one of you got an emergency call.

°°°

It was nice.. Simple.

You got a new friend, and you had a routine life.

All of that stopped when you got a text from König that he would be gone to the military for a few months. Of course you were saddened by that of course you sent your sad faces and good lucks.

Making your way to work, getting bombarded with customers. And annoyingly, having to fix a machine by yourself while you tell the rest of the employees to go home for the night. Really it just decided to break when it was way past the time to get home? Having to stay over work time once again really ticks people off. Especially when you don't get paid for your overtime.

Atleast the whole place was clean. You just needed to fix the machine, and it took about... You stayed there for 1.5 hours trying to fix it. Fucking dammit, An angry smashing of the plates and tables was an order but you were to tired to do any of that. Instead you make sure everything is in check before closing the lights, getting your stuff and locking the place up.

Fucking finally. You can go home and rest..

Walking your way back should've been simple, you should've been safe this was a tight knit community. Everyone knew everyone, even new comers. No one would try anything but you had to be the one.

All was well til you felt gloved hands grab you from behind. Shoving you hard against the ground, covering your mouth as they blindfolded you and gagged your mouth

Someone should've heard you, especially when you managed to slip away and ran for a few miles before getting caught again. Being dragged back to the dark..

"Bitte, es tut mer leid.. It's okay"

Imagine the betrayal, you stop struggling looking behind you to see your friend. Dragging you to his car and shoving you inside.. Not before tying you up. All the while apologizing and trying to explain something.

Not like you were listening, all that mattered was the fact you were being kidnapped by your best friend.

°°°

"Leibing, I'm back"

2 clicks then loud thuds coming from the stairs as he makes his way down to the makeshift room König prepared for you. A bed, a small bathroom, a small kitchen with all the supplies you needed. No knives, König was smart enough to think you would try to kill him.. But worse yourself. He can defend himself easily from you.

Especially that one time you managed to break off a piece from the cabinet and trying to stab him.

He made sure to lock you down here longer.

He's not a monster though. He knows you have a system to do things so every twice a week he would bring you outside. Monitored.

If he was out on his job, he would just open a makeshift window for you to bask in the sun while he was away.

He would always stock your food, even giving you snacks.

He gave you a T. V, books, magazines, small toys and games to keep yourself entertained.

He bought you new clothes, he brought you gifts from his travels.

"Liebe? Are you hiding?"

Peek around the corner. There you are. You're curled up in a ball. Tired and emotionless as usual.

"You haven't been sleeping again, have you?"

He walks over to you, wrapping you in his arms

" Ich liebe dich so sehr.. You know that right?"

"It's why I did this.. es ist für dich"

You don't answer

You stopped answering just a few weeks ago

König missed your old personality, where was the cheerful you? The one who would strike up the conversation first.

But König knew why, He knew the consequences way back when he planned on doing this.

He planned this for so long to have you.

He could live with the changes, He could live with the fact that you probably hate him now.

Stockholm Syndrome was his hope of you loving him back, but he knew it would take a while. He can be patient, he waited long enough.

He cupped your face, lifting up his hood slightly to give you a loving kiss.

You stopped fighting back as well.

"Ich kann auf dich warten"

[wosowrites]

Moose (Jessie Fleming x Reader)

warnings: none

prompt: in which the reader and jessie play for chelsea and before they leave for the world cup reader makes jessie a crochet moose which becomes the team mascot for canada.

a/n: based off this request here also a super short fic because i’m still broken.

You were not at all a crafty person. Jessie had grown up with a craft room in her house and she liked to paint, draw, and do artsy things to calm herself down like her mother had taught her. When you started dating a year into her contract at Chelsea, her calmness had rubbed off on you. You had always been a stressed out person and moving in with Jessie had made you into a much more relaxed and happy human. You would go on bike rides, hikes, make crafts, paint the house every time you got bored of it and do everything together.

However the only thing you started doing on your own was crocheting. Jessie had tried it but was never big on it, so all the spare yarn in the house went to you. You loved it. You were horrific at it however. Everything turned into little colourful blobs and your creations were constantly either too loose or too messy. That’s why, when you walked into the house one day and pulled out a beautifully crocheted moose with a Canada jersey on, Jessie was baffled.

For the past three weeks, you would escape to a café every day and crochet for about an hour before going back to your girlfriend. Jessie was not a worried person and as madly in love as you both were with each other, spending a small amount of time away from each other every day just made you closer. Some days you would tell her you were grocery shopping, other days it was a meeting with your agent, a hang out with one of your German teammates.

But today, Moose was finally done.

You finished him a week and a half before the departure of the World Cup and you were in Canada with Jessie and her family. It would make it harder to travel all the way back to Germany and then to Australia but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to be girlfriends instead of rivals for as long as possible.

At the dinner table that night, you picked up your glass and straightened up.

"Um, I’m not big on words as you guys have seen by now but I wanna say a couple words," you said.

Jessie’s entire family put down their cutlery and looked up at you. "I’m terrified for this World Cup. Like… horrified. It’s been four years since I’ve played a major tournament so far from you, Jess. The olympics are in one city so we can visit but in Australia… we’re constantly going to be flying around. So… I made Moose," you said.

From under the table, you grabbed a bag and pulled out the knit animal. He had a red and white swear and big old antlers. Jessie’s mouth fell open and a large smile cracked her freckled face. "I’ve been making him for weeks, and he has like… five half knit siblings that went wrong if you want them," Jessie laughed loudly and extended her hand to take the crocheted animal. "Baby… it’s perfect oh my god," she said, smiling down at the animal. "Klara taught me how to make him. That’s why I was always out for an hour or so these past weeks," You said.

Jessie hugged the plushy to her chest and then put it beside her plate. The brunette stood up and walked to behind your chair, wrapping her arms around your neck and squeezing you.

Elysse took a quick picture as Jessie’s parents raved over your new talent.

Over the next couple weeks, Jessie was seen carrying Moose during press, in the bus, around the city, at training, everywhere. She always had Moose. And if she didn’t, she had entrusted Christine Sabrina, or anyone else on the clamer side to take care of the little mascot.

After Canadas 2-1 win over Ireland, Jessie was interviewed and eventually, the subject of Moose came up.

"Is that a moose?" the woman asked, looking down at the plushie tucked under Jessie’s arm. The camera followed the reporters eyes and then went back up to the Canadian. "Yeah it is," she laughed shyly, holding up the mascot. "Is there a story benne that? I mean it’s been showing up everywhere. "There is, yeah. My… uh my girlfriend made it for me. She’s at the world cup and her friend taught her how to make it for me. We won’t be seeing each other for a while depending on how the games go so she said she wanted me to have a piece of her. It’s cute, and I didn’t think she was this artsy so it caught me by surprise for sure," Jessie said, shyly and gently.

The reporter awed over Jessie’s story but the midfielders brain was just full of images of you. She missed you so much.

That night, she called you and the whole Canadian team joined the call behind the vice- captain, thanking you for the mascot.

[tomssexdoll]

Bill x female reader (2011) yn and Bill meet for the first time at a fashion show , they feel a strong attraction and she invitees him at her hotel.

He wants to eat her out they also try 69 lots of dirty talk please

Love your work!!

Hi yes lovely!!

Chemistry

PAIRINGS: Bill 2011 x Female reader CONTENT: FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Bill spots Y/N in the crowd of one of his fashion shows, he winks at her and calls her backstage after he's done. They get to know each other and they both feel a strong connection to eachother, unlike with anyone else they've been with. She then invites him to her hotel to "get to know eachother more" wink wink. A/N: HES SO SEXY AHHHH MEOW MEOW PURR WARNINGS: bill!dom, reader!sub, eating out, 69, dirty talk (lots oml), also praising

I was at a fashion event with my friends, Dsquared Fall/Winter 2010 fashion show, we had been to a lot of different fashion shows but this one was just different, one of the models was absolutely gorgeous, the way his hair was slicked back and his weird outfits made me slightly turned on.

I was staring at him in awe, taking in his beautiful features, I guess he caught onto it because he looked back at me. It snapped me out of my trance and I gave him a quick smile, my face flushed from embarassment. He winked at me and walked off, my heart stopped in that moment, the guy I had been obsessively admiring all night just winked at me? Oh. my. god.

After the show finished, I stood up and went to walk out but security stopped me. I thought I was in trouble, shit..did they see me take a swig from the vodka bottle in my purse? Hopefully not.

I acted as normal as I could, preparing to get arrested or just handed a fine, but instead he said "Bill Kaulitz wants to see you backstage" he smiled softly. Bill? The guy who winked at me? Who else would it be...I bit my lip and nodded, following the security guard and waving to my friends as they left.

I smiled like an idiot, a big grin on my face as I was led to his dressing room. I knocked on the door and he opened it, his tall, slender figure towering over me. My breathing hitched, I didn't realize how tall he actually was compared to me, I never took it into account, he was just so handsome that the rest of his body didn't matter.

"Hi.." I said shyly, blush creeping up my neck and onto my face. "Hey gorgeous, come in" he said in his thick german accent, the one that sent me into a chokehold. I stepped inside and sat in a nearby chair, playing with my fingers, looking down at the floor.

I felt him grab my chin to face him, my eyes widened a little bit. "Don't be shy prinzessin, what's your name?" "y/n, y/n l/n" I smiled warmly, he chuckled "what a beautiful name y/n, beautiful like you" he smirked, I giggled nervously, he made me fold from his words, and he could tell. Fuck.

We talked for about 2 hours non stop, after the 15 minute mark we finally broke the barier and I'm glad we did, he was so interesting, so kind and charming. A security guard came in and warned us that the studio was gonna close in 15 minutes, we looked at eachother and then at the time and laughed as we realized we had been talking for so long. It only felt like 10 minutes. I seriously felt a strong connection to him, unlike any other i've ever felt before.

"Do you wanna go back to my hotel room? We can continue to talk there" I chuckled, he nodded and packed his things from the office and closed the door behind him. He suddenly grabbed my hand, holding it in his, I looked up at him and he winked at me. "Cmon, let's go." he said, chuckling at my reaction.

As we got to the parking lot I remembered we caught a taxi there, "fuck.." I muttered under my breath "what's wrong prinzessin?" i sighed "I forgot, I didn't even drive here, I'm so sorry I can call us a taxi, I should've remembered" I groaned.

He put his hand on my shoulder lovingly, "hey don't worry, my car is here" he smiled and walked me to his car, it was a beautiful dark blue colour with black stripes on the hood and the back. "Woah, your car is so cool" I traced it with my fingers before getting into the passanger seat. He hopped into the drivers seat and started the car, the engine roaring loudly.

He sped off to where I said my hotel was, when we arrived he opened the door for me and I giggled "such a gentleman" I winked at him and he smirked, grabbing my hand again and walking with me up to my room.

Not one moment was awakward, we continued to talk for hours more, about everything and also nothing. He was the type of person where you could talk about stupid things and it would be interesing. I slowly layed back into the bed, he was still at the end of the bed and we were talking as usual.

Then, things became tense, not in a bad way, but it's like the air was thicker. He slowly crawled to me onto the bed and hovered on top of me, "you're so sexy.." he whispered in my ear, I gasped as he started to suck my neck, slowly and softly, leaving little marks. Then he moved onto my lips, capturing them in a passionate kiss. The way our lips moved so perfectly, like they were made for each other sent sparks flying.

I placed one hand the back of his head, continuing the passionate embrace. His lips were so soft, so gentle and kind. Not rough or unkind.

"Can I try something liebe? You might like it.." he smirked, I nodded hesitently. He slowly moved down to my area, looking up at me for conformation. I nodded eagerly and slowly took my skirt off, along with my panties, exposing my wet cunt.

His mouth opened slightly, groaning at the sight of my pussy. He locked his arms around my legs and started to softly kiss and suck on my clit. I moaned softly "fuck..i've never done this before Bill.." he looked up at me "don't worry prinzessin, you're in great hands.." he smirked and continued his movements.

"Mmm..feels so good Bill" I rolled my eyes back, grabbing onto his hair and tugging it slightly. "So good baby, your pussy tastes amazing..fuck.." he groaned against my heat, licking and sucking up my juices.

He would occasionaly lick my whole pussy, from clit to hole. Making me shudder. My moans would get louder and more urgent when he would stick his tongue into my hole.

"Fuck..this pussy is so good, you're so fucking sexy" he continued his attack on my cunt, repeating movements that made me cry out in pleasure.

I felt my orgasm approaching, my clit becoming even more sensitive as his tongue flicked my bud. With one last loud moan my orgasm washed over me and I came hardly, he chuckled and licked up everything I gave him, careful not to overstimulate me.

He pulled himself up and kissed me roughly, tasting myself on his lips.

"Come here baby, let's try something else" he smirked, flipping us over so I was on top of him, "turn around liebe" he guided me so my head was near his cock and my pussy was on his face. "Go ahead, take my cock out for me baby..it's aching" he moaned, I happily obliged and slowly took his cock out of his pants, revealing the precum that leaked out of his cock. It was throbbing so hard, making me so wet.

"Come on baby, suck it" he latched onto my pussy, kissing and licking it again. I moaned and leaned down, putting his cock in my mouth and sucking, bobbing my head up and down at a fast pace.

I groaned, his tongue piercing against my clit drived me wild, his cock was almost too big for me, choking and gagging on it as I sucked. It hit the back of my throat, tears threatening to escape my eyes.

I continued to suck his length, saliva sticking around my mouth. I moaned against his cock as he sucked my pussy. Pulling away slightly as the pleasure took over my body. "Fuck..don't stop baby.." he groaned "doing so good, cmon" my shaky hands returned to his cock, pumping it a few times before putting it back into my mouth, sucking on it graciously.

"Fuck..gonna cum.." he moaned loudly against my cunt, the vibrations making me whimper. I picked up my pace, eagerly wanting him to cum in my mouth, sucking hard and fast. His cock twitched before shooting a massive load into my mouth, it was almost like he hadn't came for WEEKS. I winced at all the cum in my mouth and swallowed it, cringing at the taste.

Slowly after my orgasm hit, cumming all over his mouth. He again licked all my sweetness up, making sure he didn't leave even so much as a drop left.

I turned around and collapsed onto his chest, trying to regain my breath. "Fuck..that was so good liebe.." he panted out. I nodded and looked up at him, softly smiling.

E/N: HEY GUYS HOW WAS IT? I LOVED WRITING THIS AHHH, ty for the love and support it means the world to me <3

[lloromanic0]

Just made this blog to post random smut I have in my notes app. I hope you like them x

Bill Kaulitz as an exchange student looking for an English tutor ;)

 

You woke up around ten am, looking out your dorm window contemplating the rain hitting the glass. After about five minutes you finally got up a started to get ready for your classes, you looked at your schedule that was hooked above your desk, today you had English C1, German B1 and English literature. You were a languages enthusiast you had always been interested in learning new languages you loved communicating with others so picking a languages major was the only right choice for you. Since you lived close to campus at 10:50 you started walking to class hopping to be there by 11. The cold morning breeze hit your face making your cheeks feel cold and look slightly red, the rain had stopped by now, but some drops fell occasionally from trees or rooftops. After around 7 minutes of walking, you finally got inside and went straight to class. You didn’t have many friends, just enough to keep you company during the long days at university. As you were approaching the big classroom you saw one of your friends that was a part of some sort of Student Council which welcomed exchange students, of course she was always busy talking to people, but she never made you feel left out. As you got closer to her, she immediately spotted you giving you a big smile and you smiled back at her.

“Good morning, Y/N!”

“Good morning, Amelie.”

“I’ll get in the classroom just in a second I’m just handing some fliers to the exchange students.” She said while still smiling at you.

You nodded as you looked behind her to peek at the exchange students, when one of them really caught your eye. A tall, slim man with long black hair was looking directly at you making you feel slightly intimidated by his aura. After engaging in this staring contest with him for a few seconds you got inside of the amphitheatre taking a seat close to the edge. 

 

Around ten minutes passed, and you saw Amelie walking inside the classroom looking for you, you waved at her as she gave you an expression of relief. She sat next you exhaling deeply and looking at you right after.

 

“Lots of work?” You ask. 

 

“Quite a bit, but you know me I love meeting new people and try to give them the best university experience even if it’s just for a semester”. 

She said smiling with her eyes closed. She truly had a beautiful heart. 

You smiled softly again, you liked to talk to people, but you also loved you alone time and well Amelie barely had any due to all her responsibilities and you weren’t about to sacrifice that, but you did help her anytime you could.

Then she looked at you, she looked a bit..embarrassed…you didn’t know how to describe her expression well enough.

 

“Y/N can I please ask you to do me a favor.”

 

Your face got a bit hot at the sudden request, but you nodded firmly.

She quickly exhaled and began to talk.

 

“So there’s this one German exchange student that speaks very poor English and he came to me asking if anyone would be able to tutor him so that he could communicate better with people and to also help him pass his classes while he’s here”

 

“Why me?” You bluntly ask. 

 

“Seriously? You’re a top student in English and you’re practically fluent in German you’re literally perfect to be his tutor!”

 

You kept silent for a bit. 

 

“Listen I know you like to have your alone time specially after classes but if you could spare 2 hours let’s say…3 times a week to help him it wouldn’t harm you…”

 

“Also he’s willing to pay...”

 

“It’s not about money Amelie. But since you’re my friend I’ll see what I can do to help him”

 

She smiled and thanked you.

 

4 pm

After your tree classes Amelie asked you to meet her at the student’s office so you could schedule a time to tutor him. You kept wondering who this German student might be. You entered the office closing the door behind you when you saw him. The tall slim man who was staring at you this morning. You got close to him trying not to blush again, Amelie appeared behind you making you jump a little.

“Hi! I’m so happy you came; this is Bill your new student.” She said giggling, also making Bill smile, you sat next to him.

 

“Hallo“ he said smiling.

 

“Was geht“ you replied. 

 

“I’m sure you’ll get along well” Amelie interrupted “So” she said while sliding you a piece of paper “These are the days that Bill is available for tutoring so you can see if it fits your schedule”.

 

Tuesday from 5pm-7pm

Thursday from 4pm-6pm

Friday from 8pm-10pm 

 

You looked through your schedule then looked up at them smiling slightly. 

 

“This is fine”

 

Bill looked very excited and so did Amelie.

You and Bill exchanged phone numbers and you three walked out.

«I can’t thank you enough Y/N! » Exclaimed Amelie.

Bill kept his eyes on you the whole time, you felt his gaze scanning your body it was hard to admit it, but you loved the feeling. You waved goodbye to both, and you tree parted ways. After the same 7-minute walk you did everyday you finally entered your dorm room and threw yourself on the bed. You closed your eyes starting to feel sleepy when suddenly your phone vibrated.

Texts

Bill: «Hope to see you tomorrow Süβe ;)»

You stupidly smiled at the text quickly snapping out of your daydreaming and giving him a quick reply.

«Yep, don’t be late :)» you placed your phone down and fell asleep a few minutes later.

You woke up the next day, it was a sunny morning today the warm sun felt comforting on your skin but it was still as cold as yesterday. You checked your phone for the time and noticed another text from Bill, your heart raced a little.

Texts

Bill

«Good morning, Miss what should I bring to class today? » you laughed a little at the nickname he called you.

«Your total concentration and maybe a notebook and a pen would be nice».

«Yes ma’am» he replied.

You only had 2 classes today so around 4pm you would be free so had an hour to prepare some sort of exercises for Bill to practice after class.

4:50 pm

After putting on some comfortable clothes you quickly set up your desk so that Bill had space to sit down, when suddenly you heard a nock on your door, the noise startled you but you quickly calmed down remembering it was probably Bill. You looked in the mirror for a second fixing your hair and makeup and then opened the door.

He was leaning on the side of the door frame towering over you as you stared at his figure.

“I thought you were going to leave me out here.” he said pouting his lips in a playful way.

You just laugh in response and tell him to get in.

“Do you want a water or maybe a snack?” You asked trying to make him feel more comfortable.

“Water please!”

You grabbed a bottle from your mini fridge and gave it to him.

“Danke.” He said

“In here we only speak English ok Bill?” You replied playfully.

“Yes ma’am”

You rolled your eyes and sat down next to him.

“So I prepared a list of things that I thought would be good for you to practice.”

You showed him the list: conjugating verbs, irregular verbs, pronunciation, correct way of writing sentences etc..

He read trough it as his eyes widened.

“So much….”

“I’m here to help you Bill we need to work on these aspects if you want to get better.”

He looked like a sad puppy he was so cute you couldn’t help yourself.

“Anddd if you do a good job I’ll even reward you.”

He look at you with a little grin.

“Can I choose the reward?”

You tilted your head and lifted your right eyebrow a little

“Don’t you think you’re asking for too much already?”

His cheeks got pink, you didn’t know if it was from embarrassment or shyness but he looked so handsome like that.

You cleared your throat and stared to show him some work sheets on verb conjugation.

5:45 pm

 “Professor…”

“No need to call me that Bill don’t be silly.” You said while giggling a bit.

“I can’t remember this one. I hate irregular verbs!” He exclaimed slightly mad.

“You can do it just think hard. After you finish that we can take a small break.”

His face instantly lite up as he worked hard on his paper. After a few minutes he finished it and as you corrected it,you told him he could take a break.

All of a sudden you feel arms wrap around you shoulders.

“Y/N are you done correcting? I thought you were taking the break with me.”

You gulped hard while you looked at his hands hanging from your shoulders.

“Bill…I need to correct this before we move on you know that..”

“But…” he slightly hesitated to speak “…I want you to pay attention to me”

His words made you bite your lower lip lightly.

“You can sit with me if you would like.”

He pulled his chair to sit down.

“Not there Bill.” You pulled yourself away from the table a little and placed your hand on your exposed thigh.

“Sit here.”

His face now painted red and his mouth slightly hanging open, he looked at you and you gave him a smile of approval. He walked over to you positioning himself on your lap. You placed one of your hands around his lower stomach making him exhale nervously.

“Are you comfortable?” You whispered. He nodded and kept still while you finished your work.

6 pm

“All done,you did quite well Bill I’m impressed.” your hand caressing his thigh.

“All thanks to you..” his voice slightly cracking.

“Are you ok Bill? If you don’t feel comfortable please tell me.”

“Y-yes I’m fine Y/N”

You looked over his shoulder and saw the evident tent in his pants,you licked your lips and slowly moved your hand up his tight.

He let out a shaky breath.

“What’s wrong mein liebe?” You asked innocently.

“Nichts…” his breath getting heavier each time your hand approached his erection but never touching it without his consent.

With that you took your hand off his thigh and flipped through some more work sheets.

“Warum hast du aufgehört!?” His tone slightly higher.

“English please.” You said teasing.

He scoffed “Why did you stop…?”

“Stop what Bill?” You whisper close to his neck.

“You stopped touching me…”

“You want me to touch you?”

He nodded, his breath getting heavier.

“But where Bill?”

He stopped for a second getting embarrassed to ask you to touch his throbbing cock that made his tight pants feel very uncomfortable.

“Tell me Bill…” You whispered in his ear starting to kiss his neck while rubbing his thighs again.

“Touch me between my thighs please…” he begged in a low tone.

“I couldn’t hear you baby can you repeat that?” You wanted to tease him until he got to his limit.

“Please touch my cock…It hurts so bad.”

“That’s a good boy, so obedient.”

You moved your hand up his tight slowly palming his erection through his pants.

You unzipped them and pulled his boxers down as his hard cock sprung out of them hitting his lower stomach. For such a slim guy he was definitely bigger than average. The pink head of his cock was coated in his precum,it twitched quite often desperately seeking some sort of stimulation. You hand wrapped around his base slowly pumping him, he whimpered and whined,your slow touch making him feel more agony rather than pleasure.

“Please…faster.” He begged,breathing heavily. You quickly complied to his request since he was being so well behaved. You stroked him faster as your wrist started to get sore but the erotic sounds he was making were enough to make up push through the discomfort. With one hand you massed his balls, and with the other you circled his tip with your thumb, he moaned loudly with the doble stimulation.

“Sshh keep it down Bill, you don’t want the whole dorm to know how much of a whore you are.”

“Sheiße….i can’t- I’m so close-“

“Cum for me liebe.” You ordered.

With a few more strokes he came all over your hands coating them in his thick semen.

“Thank you-thank-you..for helping me cum…” he kept thanking you as he laid his head back on your shoulder so that he could look at you.

You kissed him a few times complementing him, telling him he did a very good job and how he was such a good boy.

You helped him clean up and walked him to the door since it was already past time and you didn’t want your dorm mates to suspect anything.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at university Bill.”

“Yeah…text me when you get there.” He gave you a big smile.

“Will do.” You smiled as you pulled him down for one last kiss, this one being a little longer than the previous. You opened the door for him and watched him walk down the corridor looking back at you a few times, when you lost sight of him you closed the door and went back to your room.

[aaliyahhoney]

Tattoos

Konig x reader

this is long as shit, buckle in baby ;)

Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, fem anatomy, smut, drinking, dom!Konig, Sub!reader, teasing, use of pet names, praise, slight degration(barely though, i’m a slut for praise), oral fem receiving, possession kink, breeding kink, overstimulization, lots of dirty talk, talk of tattoos, size kink, bulge kink, aftercare 

a/n: This is my first piece so cut me some slack :’) also the german phrases are from a translation website so please don’t come for me LOL

Storyline: Your best friend has finally come back from a mission and an opportunity comes up to hang out. You two decide to go to your favorite club with a couple of her task force friends. To your surprise things take an unexpected turn when you meet a  man named Konig and you two talk alittle and leave each other be after. But as your friend leaves with another guy after , and most of the others did as well, you realize you two are left alone. He asks if you want to stay at his place figuring your friend wouldn’t want to be bothered and you had no ride home due to living a good 2 hours away.. You agree and go, but things start to get out of hand after a couple more drinks.

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Your feet hurt from dancing and you decided it was time to get another drink. You walk to the bartender and ask for a drink over the loud music and feel a light tap on your shoulder that slides it’s way down to your lower back. You turn around and smile, your eyes meeting your best friend whose leaning in to talk to you, while a guy behind her playfully grabs her waist and downs a shot. 

“Hey what’s up?”, you shout over the music. Grabbing your drink the bartender sat down next to you and taking a sip, slowly swaying to the music in the dim lit club.

“I’m gonna head out.”, she yelled over the music. She lifted her hands to signal the guy hugging her waist. 

“Are you gonna be ok with König?”, she asks. You stop swaying and tilt your head in confusion.

“Just me and König? Where’s everyone else?”, you look over to see König sitting at a two seat table by himself with a drink in his hand, eyeing the both of you. You look back at your friend whose now standing up straight, while the guy she entertains slowly kisses up and down her neck.

“They left because they have to do somethings in the morning.”, she rolled her eyes. You found it kind of rude to just up and leave without saying goodbye to everyone but you pushed it to the side. You nod an shrug.

“ You sure? ‘Cuz I’m probably gonna stay the night as his house”, she signals to the needy guy on her, raising her eyebrows up and down causing you  to giggle. 

“Yeah! It’s all cool.”, you say looking back over at König.

“Have fun!”, you shout waving at her as she leads the guy out of the club, while waving back at you.

 “I’ll call you later!” she mouths and with that, she’s gone.

 “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. The smiling leaving your lips. “How the hell am I supposed to get home?”

Trying to figure out an answer to that question you decide to worry about it later and focus on going over to König. Taking a deep breath you slowly make your way over to him, hips swaying, your dress riding up alittle, and keeping your eyes on him. 

Even though you had talked before and considering how respectful he was, the way he watched the crowd of dancers  in front of him with a low hanging mask and full body gear on, he looked terrifying. Plus why didn’t he change into something more comfortable? 

You wonder if he keeps it on all the time and why. He looked like he was planning an assassination on someone in the crowd . You watched as his head was slightly down and his eyes pierced through the drunken crowd. He looked as if he was ready to kill someone.

 Your thoughts raced about how terrifying he looked and what he could do. That was until you got close enough to see his fingers picking at each other and his knees jumping up and down barely.

 “Is he nervous?” You ask yourself, a smile slowly forming on your lips.

“How could someone so big be nervous?”, you giggle slightly. If he wanted to he could fuck up anyone here in an instant without even trying. You reach the table and smile as his eyes meet yours.

“Hey!”, you say sitting down on the cold stool. A shiver runs up your back from  the sudden chillness, and you look down to adjust your dress. After pulling it down slightly you look back up to meet his eyes. He quickly looks away, his leg bouncing even faster.

“Hey.”, he says lowly, his accent slipping a little, he then clears his throat. It’s clear you caught him off guard a little by the way he seems like he doesn’t know how to react, his hands now in fists on his thigh.

You turn to face him better and scoot to the edge of your seat to hear him better.

“You ok?”, you ask, “You look really nervous.” He raises his eyebrows and sits up better, relaxing his elbow on the table, now acting calmly as if nothing happened. 

“Oh, of course, just a bit tired, you know? These boots are killing my feet.”, he says chuckling, looking down at his boots.

You laugh, “I felt that, these heels are killing me. Honestly I’m ready to head home.”, you say, bringing your elbows to rest closely to each other on the cold countertop, holding your head with your hands. Looking down you notice his leg suddenly stop bouncing and you look up at him. He’s not looking at your eyes though. You follow his gaze and notice your breast pressing together making your cleavage 10 times more noticeable, You blush and bring your arms to rest back down on your legs. You look up to notice König staring at you but quickly looking away as your eyes meet his. He clears his throat suddenly.

” Um, well I heard that it was a 2 hour drive from your place, so would you like to stay at mine for the night?”, he pauses , “I have a spare room you could stay in.” He says shyly. You look up and smile.

“That’s really sweet of you König, but I don't want to be a burden.”, you reply, scratching the back of your neck.

“It’s no burden, just helping a friend of a friend,” he chuckles meeting your eyes again, “Plus it’s dangerous getting an uber at this time. I don’t even think they would drive that far either.” he laughs, trying to brighten the mood. You think for a second before answering.

“ Well, ok. I guess. If it doesn’t bother you.”, a giddy smile forming on your face, ”Thank you.” 

“ Yeah, of course.”, he says standing up signaling for you too as well. You pull yourself up stepping next to him trying not to slip in your heels. 

“ Holy shit,”, you whisper, looking up. He was huge. He definitely looked huge when he sat but god damn, you didn’t expect him to be that large. Your face met the middle of his vest, and looking up he had to be at least almost two feet taller. That’s a big bitch, you thought. 

He looked down at you and you heart stopped as he leaned down next to your ear.

 “ You ready?”, he said lowly, his accent more prominent. You looked down quickly blushing, feeling yourself get hot. You nodded and started walking towards the exit. You stop suddenly feeling your wrist being pulled softly. You stop and look up to see Konig holding your wrist. His hand completely engulfing it in his grasp. Looking back down his hand was large and veiny, his nails well kept and his fingers soft. You couldn’t help but blush.

 You looked up at him and he pointed towards the other exit. You nodded and followed him out the building and to his car getting in. Sinful thoughts circled your mind as you watched out the window, both of you silent. Thank god he only lived 10 minutes away. The car was started to get hotter with every passing moment and you thought you’d die of embarrassment. Praying to god he didn’t notice how much his build flustered you. He then pulled into a small house’s driveway, which was fairly nice with tiny outdoor lamps to light up the cement. The house cute and cozy looking with a modern twist.

“Here we are.” he says, breaking the silence. You nod, avoiding eye contact, trying to calm yourself down.

Both of you exit the car and you follow behind him to the door. As he unlocks the door you can’t help but sneak another look at his hands, blushing. He finally open the door, signaling you in first. 

“Thank you,” you say smiling. He nods closing the door behind you both. 

 You take in your surroundings as you walk in smiling at how nice and well kept it was. The house is small with a nice kitchen that connects into the living room and a couple rooms down a small hallway. 

“ This is nice,”, you say admiring the house’s coziness. He looks at you and sets his keys down on the kitchen island next to a small pile of mail. 

“ Danke,” , he says nodding. Surprised by the foreign word, you wondered what language it was. Looking to get comfortable you spotted some island stools. You lowered your self onto one fiddling with your fingers.

“So,” you mumble, trying to break the awkwardness. “Where are you from?” you say, titling your head curiously. You watch his eyes flutter as he processes what you asked.

“Well, I’m Austrian if that answers your question,”, he says dryly, undoing the straps of his vest. He slips it off and you freeze at the sight of his build. He has large shoulders and a slim waist, with a muscular build down his arms and chest. Blushing you admire the small glimpse of him through his semi-tight shirt.

Turning around to set his vest on the counter he catches you looking and you avert your eyes quickly to your hands, nodding. 

“That’s really cool,” you say, squeezing your thighs together to stop the hotness spreading across your body as you feel his eyes on you. A couple seconds pass of awkward silence and he finally clears  his throat.

“Um, would you like a drink?”, he asks grabbing two wine glasses from the cupboard and a wine bottle from his fridge. You look up at him, staring at his muscles as he pours himself one.

You swallow, trying to fix your dry throat, “ Yeah, that would be nice.” waiting a couple seconds for him to finish pouring.

“Thank you,” , you say, gently taking the glass from him as he slides it over the marble top. He nods and lifts his mask slightly, taking a sip of the blood red wine, just enough to see his sharp jawline, making you squeeze your thighs tighter. You take as sip to distract yourself, looking down, swallowing the tart wine. He sets his glass on the counter and looks at your forearm where your tattoo sits.

“I like your tattoo,” , he says before taking another sip.

“Oh, thank you, I actually got it not too long ago,” , you beam, smiling up at him. 

He nods again and rest his arms on the countertop, still standing, revealing a small glimpse of what’s under his shirt.

 “Do you have anymore?”, he asks. You take a few seconds to process what he said as you can feel the wine mix with the several drinks you had at the club, slowly feeling the kick. Your head feeling a little heavier and your breathing getting deeper.

You smile widely at the question, and sit up suddenly, startling him a bit.

“Mhm!”, you say enthusiastically, You pull up your dress a tad and he looks away, but you continue, showing another small tattoo,

 “I have this one! And I have one on my ankle. Oh! And a spine tattoo!”, you slur slightly and beam him a smile. 

“Do you have any?”, you ask, taking another sip.

“Nein, I would love to get one though.”. he said chuckling at your excitedness, “ So a spine tattoo, ja?”

You smile and nod.

“ I  could show you if you’d like.”, you announce boldly. Heat starting to rush over you again, you looked deep into his eyes watching his reaction. His eyes widened and he turned to take another drink, nervousness creeping throughout him.

 “Would you like to see?”, your voice lowers a notch and you begin to talk slower, arching your back slightly to show the curve of your ass. Feeling bolder as the alcohol rushes throughout your body.

He clears his throat, starting to return the energy.

“Sure,”, he says lowly looking you up and down. 

You smile and slide off the stool. You slip your heels off and walk to him, standing directly in front of him. His eyes grow wide as he turns to face you leaning his hip on the counter and crossing his arms. You slowly turn around, your back facing him, tilt your head to the side and reach for the zipper of your dress. Taking a deep breath you start to feel hot, questioning why your going through with this. 

You unzip your zipper slightly, not able to reach the rest. He stares attentively, watching as you slowly expose your back, your tattoo showing ever so slightly.

“Can you unzip the rest.”, you ask softly, “I can’t reach.”, you say making your voice a pitch higher and softer. He’s taken aback by the request and clears his throat.

“Um, oh, ja.”, He wipes his hands on his pants to stop them from sweating and takes a step towards you. You can feel him behind you, and you grow nervous. He slowly raises his hands and moves your hair out of the way. You let out a deep breath, waiting for him to unzip your dress, while holding the top of it to ensure it doesn’t fall. He takes a long breath and takes the zipper in his hand, admiring  the way your shoulders are so tiny compared to his. He swallows before slowly unzipping the rest of your dress. He watches as your back becomes more exposed along with your tattoo, redness moving across his face. His eyes lower and he can’t help but focus on the dip between your back and your ass.

He takes a deep breath, not thinking clearly anymore. Trying to pull his thoughts together he takes another breath.

“I’ve never seen anything like it before, it’s gorgeous,” , his voice becomes deeper and slower, his words becoming hypnotizing. 

“Thank you,” , you say in a whisper. His breathing becomes heavy, thoughts racing. You start to feel his fingers lightly graze your tattoo and you freeze.

“Your so pretty,” You hear him say, his voice barely below a whisper. You let out a deep shaky breath. Your on fire, you want him to touch you more. You let out another breath and press your back into his hand more. The corner of his mouth upturns slightly under his mask, enjoying your reaction. He keeps slowly tracing his fingers over the tattoo his eyes look almost transfixed, the feeling overpowering him as if he’s in a trance. His hearts racing and his cheeks are red as he feels himself grow hard. He feels you tense, and a wave of confidence washes over him. He wants more of you, he needs it.

 He slowly snakes his hand down to grip your hip softly and leans down.

 “Is this ok with you?”, He whispers. You tense more as every thought in your mind vanishes. You turn you head to look up at him, now eye level. You try and find any rational thought to stop yourself, but you can’t. Looking up at him you nod, your breaths getting heavier. He pulls off the helmet part of his mask, placing it on the counter, never looking away from you. Shaggy brunette hair is revealed slightly through the hole at the top of his mask, his eyes glare into yours as you admire him.

 “Can I kiss you?”, he asks quietly. The anticipation killing him.

You nod eagerly starting to lift up the hem of his mask. He pulls off the rest of his mask, and your breath is caught in your throat. He’s extremely handsome, with a sharp angled nose and plump lips, his blue eyes with thick eyelashes staring into yours. You crash your lips into his harshly, holding back a moan. He grips your hips and pulls you in tighter, hungrily kissing you back. You  give in and moan into the kiss as he bites your lip softly, your hands flying into his hair and pulling him closer, your kisses growing more intense. He lets out a low moan and slips his hands under you and picks you up. 

   “Fuck,” , he moans and turns to set you on the counter. He crashes into your lips again, gripping your hips and grinding into you. You let out an airy moan into the kiss, letting your dress fall revealing your breast. He looks down, eyes widening. He pulls his lips away, picking you up and taking you to what you assume is the bedroom. He gives the door a slight kick to close it after entering. 

He struggles to kick off his boots while holding you, making you giggle at how desperate he is. He finally gets them off and sets you on the bed softly and pushes you to lay on your back. Trailing down he starts to kiss and bite your neck, letting his hand glide up your inner thigh. You arch your back, digging the back of your head into the pillow, pressing yourself onto his hand, your panties soaked. He rests on his hand beside your head and sits up, smiling at your reaction. He dives back into your neck trailing lower and lower until he reaches your breast.

He flicks your nipple with his tongue and gives it a soft bite making you whimper. His hand glides up to your panties and feels how wet you are through them. He moans softly, tracing his fingers up and down your clothed slit causing another moan to slip from your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Mhmm,” he moans biting his lip and smiling at your reaction.

 “Mmm, does that feel good?”, he purrs in a low, raspy tone, slowly circling your clit with his index finger. You nod eagerly, and let out another moan lightly gripping the bedsheets. He shakes his head, signaling that that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. He chuckles giving your stomach a light kiss, smiling at your adorable moans. 

“Use you words.”, he purrs, biting your nipple softly. 

You gasp quietly, “Fuck,” , you moan grinding on his hand, “ It feels so good.”  

“There we go, good girl.” he smiles giddily at your response continuing to tease through your panties.

“Please don’t stop,” , you whine, pressing yourself down onto him even more.

“I wont pretty girl, I promise,” he moans, slowly kissing down your stomach to your thighs, you shiver and moan in response, making him moan as well. He fully pulls off your dress and moans at the sight of you. 

“So pretty,” he mumbles,” You’re so fucking pretty.”

You blush at his words and your breath hitches as you feel him blow on your clothed heat, moaning softly. 

“König please,”, you whine, “ No more teasing.” You furrow your eyebrows throwing your head back at the slight stimulation. He mocks your moan, chuckling. 

“Hmm, yeah baby?” He kisses you through your panties.

“How bad do you want it, liebling? Hmm? Tell me.” You moan at the pet names, blushing and covering your face with your hands. He shakes his head chuckling, moving back up to see your face, circling your clit once more with his index finger, getting another moan out of you. He grabs your hands and moves them out of the way to see your face.

 “Don’t hide angel ,” he says teasingly, “Look me in the eyes and tell me how bad you want it. How bad do you want me to touch you?” he coos.

 You nervously look him in the eyes, moaning as the pace of his fingers speeds up, “So bad König, please.”

“Yeah? Is that so?” You nod eagerly at his words. “ Alright, liebling,” he says moving down and putting his arms under your legs. He pulls you towards him at the edge of the bed. You gasp as he takes off your panties and takes a long drag of his tongue along your wet slit. He moans, inserting his finger into your wetness.

” Fuck, you’re so wet for me, does it feel good?”, nodding you moan loudly as his finger curls inside of you. His jaw drops slightly in awe of your reaction, watching you intensely through seductive eyes.

 “God your driving me crazy”, He pulls you down harshly and instantly starts licking and sucking your clit as his finger curls rapidly inside you. You moan loudly and can feel yourself getting closer as he continues.

“Fuck Konig!”, You arch you back and drop your hands into his hair pulling at it making him moan, “I’m so close!” You feel yourself about to cum and your hands grip the bedsheets.

“There you go baby, come for me.”, He rubs your clit in circles with his thumb and he fingers you, harshly biting the inside of your thigh causing you to let out a sob at the pain. You arch your back and moan loudly as he drives you to cum, your legs shaking.

 “Mmmm, good girl, good fucking girl,” he moans, kissing back up your stomach. He suddenly stands up watching you through hooded eyes. He quickly takes off his shirt and undoes his belt, taking off his pants and boxers to show his erection. He leans down grabbing your legs and pulls you closer to the edge of the bed to pick you up. He turns around sitting on the edge with you straddling him. 

“Come on schatz, it’s your turn to please me.” , He says looking down at you teasingly. You look down at how big he is and look back up at him with a face of disbelief.

“König...there is no way that’s fitting inside me.” You laugh nervously.He chuckles and lifts your hips, making you gasp.

“Too bad.” He says lining himself up to your entrance, “Your going to take it anyway.” He lowers you onto him making you gasp and moan loudly  as he fills you completely, stretching you out.

He curses, digging his head into your shoulder. 

“F-fuck, you’re so tight.” He says, his eyes fluttering and breath hitching, letting out a whimper. He moans into your shoulder loudly as you near taking him whole. You moan, head thrown back as your eyes grow teary. You let out a sob as you feel him finally stop, his tip pushing harshly at your cervix. His breathing is shallow and you both sit for 10 seconds before you’re both ready to move. He looks down to see a bulge from your lower stomach. He smiles and flips the both of you. Your back now against the bed.

 “Ready?”, he asks. You nod and hug his shoulders to prepare yourself. He slowly moves out of you, watching the bulge follow his movements, he smiles even wider.

 “Just tell me if I’m being too rough, ok?” You nod, feeling light headed already. He takes a second to adjust his hips, and slams into you making you lose your breath. He groans loudly surprised at his own actions. He continues thrusting into you cursing at how good you feel. You moan so loud that you might as well be screaming, as he pounds into you leaving marks all over your neck and chest, moaning how good you feel around him. 

He whimpers, digging his head into your shoulder as his thrusts become harder hitting the same spot over and over making your head reel. You dig your nails into his back, your head light. You look up at him his breath ragged as he thrusts into you  and his hair covering his face. He stares at the way your body meets his, his jaw slack in awe, as his eyes roll back ever so often. He averts his gaze to you watching your expressions. Your lips touch softly as you moan into his mouth, the pain mixing with the pleasure as he pounds into you. He smiles into your lips before bringing you into a harsh kiss sucking and biting making it hard to keep up with as you moan in between. He pulls back watching as your eyes roll, smiling and digging his head into your shoulder watching as he disappears in and out of you. His breathing becoming more and more labored as his thrusts begin to get sloppier. He lets out a soft groan his pace quickening as he chases his high.

“ Scheiße ,” , he whines, over and over as he bites into your shoulder making you moan more. “Ich bin so nah dran,” his voice grows more airy as he fucks harder into you. 

“ Ich brauche mehr von dir, Liebling,” he whines. He then sits up and flips you over onto your hands and knees, grabbing your hips and thrusting even harder with his head thrown back. “So eng, so, so eng,” he moans, taking another look at your tattoo and leaving harsh kisses up and down it, occasionally biting.

“König, please,” you breath in between your moans, “I can’t take it much longer, it’s too much,” you whine, arching your back, and digging your nails into the bedsheets. Your legs were beginning to shake as you felt your high coming. You allow your chest to fall onto the bed, your back arching even more. You moved your hips to meet his with every thrust chasing your high and causing him to let out a groan slowing down every so often to grind into you before going back to quick thrusts.

“Nur ein bisschen mehr Baby,” he moans, “So eng,” he whimpers.

 Your eyes screw shut as you can feel the knot in your stomach coming undone, slightly going light headed. König’s thrusts getting sloppier and heavier, he dips his head into your back moaning. You arch your back even more pushing into him causing him to buck into you harder. He dips his hand between your thighs and rubs your clit sending intense shivers down your body and your legs feel like they’re gonna give out. 

“That’s it”, he says softly between moans, “ I want you to cum with me.”

You moan, his words sending shivers once again down your body, it was so hard to imagine that this was the same man that was so anxious before. The same man that could barely hold eye contact with you earlier was making you scream his name. Making your mascara run down your face, making you teary-eyed from all the pleasure he was giving you. You let out a whimper as you could feel yourself on the edge. 

“ Scheiße,,,you’re mine,” he whispers in your ear between ragged breaths about to come undone, “All fucking mine. You got that? Only I can make you feel this good, only me,”, his thrust slow and become harder. “Only fucking me.” 

You nod eagerly, seconds away from cumming. He took the hint and rubbed your clit faster, sending goosebumps all over your body from the stimulation. You let out a loud whine pushing your hips harder into his moaning loudly.  Your eyes roll in the back of your head, mouth wide as your legs shake and your ears start ringing. Your cunt tightens around him painfully drawing out a straggled moan from him his thrust faltering slightly, pushing him over the edge.

 “Fuck,” he moans pushing his head into your back, squeezing his eyes shut. He presses harshly into you his seed filling you. Both of you moan from the pleasure of him filling you up. He thrust a couple more times, making sure you were fully filled with his cum. Breathing heavy he kisses your back softly where he had bitten you.

 “All fucking mine,”, he says softly, in between kisses. He turns you around, admiring the mess he created, smiling softly while tracing your puffy lips with his thumb before giving you a soft kiss. He trails down and softly leaves kisses along your collar bone and makes his way to your mouth again, kissing you softly.

 “ You did so good for me, leibling. Such a good girl,” he purrs, laying next to you. You turn to face him and he chuckles at the mess of mascara running down your face. He licks his finger and helps clean the smudges.

 “ Such a pretty girl,” he says kissing you softly once again. You feel your heart flutter and you look into his eyes, smiling softly. He pulls you into him by your waist and you cuddle into him tiredly.

“Shower?” He asks. You shake your head too tired to move. He chuckles making a mental note to shower in the morning and wash the sheets. He watches as your eyes flutter shut. Admiring your beauty as he runs circles in your waist pulling you closer into him softly.

 Leaving a soft kiss on your forehead he sighs, ”We need to do this more often from now on.”, he says relaxing his tensed muscles, you giggle at the comment and nod. 

“Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight schatz.”

a/n: kicking my feet and giggling while rereading this hehehehehe

[isawas-here]

Colonels Favorite

(Ps. Sorry if the German is bad!! (I’m doing my best TvT) Sike there’s no smut that’s in the next part SORRYY!!

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You were a new recruit that just dropped in at the base and you dedicated yourself to training hard and long hours to keep your status up. Along the way you managed to make friends with a so called team “141” and “Kortac”; they were pretty intimidating nonetheless but quite kind and reserved. One of the members who was well reserved and really shy was named “König” meaning King. While you were training with one of them member’s from 141,you caught him leaning against the wall watching you it creeped you out a little bit but you didn’t mind. Your sparring partner Gaz was throwing punches left and right,trying to knock you off your balance but you defended yourself each time knocking him down; your foot pressing his chest as he fell to the ground. “Want to give up Garrick?” You laughed a little bit sweat beading your forehead and strands of hair in your face. “Nope we still have time we aren’t over yet” he smirked kicking his leg up from behind yours and sweeping you from under him; now towering over you. “See I’m not giving up”. You searched the room seeing König once again not once leaving the spot with his eyes locked on yours but his body language was different, he looked tense. You averted your eyes as you layed down in defeat breaking hard as you trained just 2 seconds ago. You stood up and walked over to your bag crabbing hot water bottle chugging half the bottle. You didn’t really know König that well,but what you did know if he spent time with Horangi another member from KorTac. You didn’t mind making friends but were y’all gonna stay like that forever..? You walked over to him holding out your hand, “Hi I’m Y/N” the hooded man looked down at you. Jesus was he THIS tall, you felt miniature to him. He slowly rasied his hand to shake yours, “Ah yes! Ich heisse König” he sounded nervous. “Pleasure to meet you! Where are you from, I heard your accent so…” you chuckled. “I’m from Austria and you are from America no?” “Yes,yes I am!”. You looked at him before asking “Not it be rude but why were you staring me down earlier?” He looked down before laughing nervously. “Es tut mid leid I didn’t mean to come of weird…Your physique and moves are very impressive!” you became flustered saying a “thank you”. You both looked at each other for a second before one of y’all spoke up. After some time together you and the colonel spent time together talking about the battles, things to do on y’all’s free time, history and each other. What you didn’t know is the small lingering of a crush you felt for him, you had hoped he reciprocated the same way. You were going to confess to him today. You asked on if the soldiers where you could find König and they told you the directions. So here you were standing at his door almost sweating and super nervous,becuase what if he rejected you and you don’t take rejection that well. It eats you up inside. You knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes before you heard shuffling and the lock of the door turning. The door opened showing the 6’8 man who towered over you. You gulped at the sight of him. “Oh hey y/n what brings you here?” he looked at you with a expression you couldn’t quite understand because of his tactical hood. “Oh I had something I wanted to tell you, may I come in?” You could see his eyes widen. “Oh ja come on in!” He moved out of the way and you came through the door way you saw a tiny table so you sat down him on the opposite side. You cleaned your throat before talking you didn’t wanna scare him. “So König we’ve know each other for a while now and..” he was looking at you so still looking at you every movement just like in the gym when you were training that day. You got more nervous but continued anyways. “And it’s okay you don’t I’ll just live but I like you.. not in a friend way sorta of a romantic way..” you got that off your chest feeling cleared from it. You looked down at your shoes before looking him again, his eyes still remained on yours. “Uh König say something..” you chuckled nervously. “I like you too”

HELP I GOTTA RIGHT PART 2 KMS

[queenmelancholy]

Referring to this post made by the amazing @impressions-of-downton

I’d like to imagine that Thomas was playing football in no man’s land at Christmas 1914:

The ceasefires allowed soldiers some respite to recover their dead from no man's land and give proper burials to fallen comrades. Men who just hours earlier had been trying to kill each other exchanged cigarettes, food and souvenirs from home. There are even reports of impromptu games of football breaking out, with soldiers having a kick about in barren space between the opposing trenches.

"Suddenly a Tommy came with a football… And then began a football match. We marked our goals with our caps. Tommy did also. And we had much kicking. And then, after all, the Germans won the football game 3-2."

For a brief moment, soldiers on different sides saw each other as fathers, brothers and sons who just longed to go home and return to loved ones, rather than as faceless enemies to be killed.

"Several of them spoke English. They rather expressed their dislike… for the whole war in fact. They weren't aggressive at all. Some of them said they had been to London, been to England, in fact, they gave every indication of being glad to meet us"

Full article

Capture taken from Sainsbury’s Christmas 2014 Ad. If you haven’t, go and have a watch! It will move you to tears, guaranteed. link

It’s sad to say that it’s been 110 years now but wars are still happening in different corners of the world. Of course peace is more than the absence of war, but I don’t believe war can solve conflicts.

Can we see a peaceful Christmas this year?

[apurplenessie]

How would the 141 + Alejandro + Rodolfo + König React to a morning “helpout”?

MDNI! GN Reader!

! GN reader! Part 2 Alejandro & König. Sorry for taking  wayyy too long to write, work and school  is a bitch. (fellow IB’ers whats uppppp?) this one is a long boi (2.6k words ;) dont tell me i dont treat my fellow alejandro & könig enjoyers well)

keep in mind i've never written for these characters before ( also i'm not fluent in spanish nor german + english is my third language so yk read with a grain of salt). Requests are more than welcome! THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT THO! I defiently want to write for Gaz soon but i gotta figure out his character better!

Contents: graphic descriptions of oral m!receiving. Lots of boners lmao. Yeah I know it can get repetitive but the prompt is limiting. 

Alejandro 

You were on base with him. It had been a super slow day but you enjoyed it because your schedules matched up. Most of it had been spent in Alejandro's large office, you two sitting in silence while doing paperwork. You and Alejandro were usually loud but it's days like this that make you certain that you love him. Just peeking over your papers and getting eye contact. The smirk he gives back, the twinkle in his eyes, god it could keep you up for days. Just that image of him.. 

Of course after sitting down for hours you needed to move. He led you to the training area and you had a blast. Training was always more exciting with someone else but it was magical with a man like Alejandro. 

The way his arms flexed when he would lift the weights. The way his thigh muscles could be seen moving in the hip adduction machine. Of course he knew you were staring and he made sure you saw he added your exact weight to his hip thrusts… 

It was the subtle ways Alejandro could seduce you further. He was all talk with many others but these unspoken flirtations were his attempts at showing his attention was purely on you. And you had to admit it worked. 

He scoffed at you when you suggested with a wink that you’d shower together. “Lo siento amor, can't be caught fooling around like that on my own base” He grinned “Though i’ll make sure to grant you your wish next time we’re home, ok?” He winked and you separated to wash off the sweat. 

You didn't say where you’d meet up again. You didn't think much of it but after 2 hours of no Alejandro and waiting at his office you went looking for him. 

Not in the kitchen, not in the common room. He was with Rodolfo in the training area. ..Cute you thought to yourself as you watched them brawl. 

Like a lightbulb lighting over your head you got an idea. Finding a way more mischievous use for the water bottle you held in your hand. 

You snuck up to them, hiding amongst the training equipment. Alejandro had his back turned to you and rodolfo was solely focused on taking the taller man down. “Try to catch me hermano - bet you can’t” Alejandro teased. Rudolfos eyes as usual barked back a louder response than his mouth. His eyes darted over to you as you were nearing your boyfriend. He was a smart man who immediately refocused his eyes back into staring down Alejandro’s. Though now he sported a smirk. “What's with the sudden change in confidence, really think you can intimidate me amigo?” Alejandro spat in a mocking tone. Though shortly his breath hitched and he yelped. You poured your ice cold water all down his back. 

He turned around sulking, slightly shivering due to the drastic temperature change. He had barely started sweating again but his shirt was soaking wet and clung to his strong muscles. He let out a low whine “Por quééééé”  

Rudolfo snickered, now behind Alejandro “ Gracias, Y/n” he tossed his friend a towel, warm by the gym's temperature. 

“Stabbed in the back by my own amor de mi vida” Alejandro dramatically moaned, grabbing his chest in pretend physical pain. You scoffed and kissed him on the cheek. “Feel better now” you held his face in your hands. He pulled you in by your shirt collar and you could feel his forever warm chest up against yours. He went in a bit and licked from your collarbone to your ear lobe. Too distracted to hear Rudolfo silently backing out of the room to give you your privacy. “Maybe, but I'll get my payback sometime baby” He’d whisper before shoving you away playfully.  

After a long day together you ended up on the roof of the base. It was a secret spot that was reserved for just Alejandro - and now you. As unbelievable as it was to you, it was also kept secret from Rodolfo. 

You had taken two thermo containers of coffee / tea out with you. As well as some simple biscuits. But the aura still felt heavy coated in luxury when you looked up towards the sky, in the arms of the man you loved so much. You admired his relaxed face in the pale moonlight. Caught up in massaging his hand you didn't notice he had fallen asleep. Only when you heard the familiar sound of his light snoring, did you go to look at him again in his now slumbing state. He was normally cute, but in his current state he was adorable. 

You initially had no intention of waking him up but that changed when he transformed from a peaceful state to a groaning stirring mess. You were scared that he was having a nightmare and contemplated waking him up. 

That was before you looked down to see a bulge not present before - and heard what was suspiciously horny noise mewling out of his mouth. 

You flushed at the lewd noise. Wanting to help out but after all he seemed more than hesitant to do that stuff on his base. However, this was his secret spot… You slid a hand under the blankets covering you both. Snaking your hand down, pushing his shirt to the side and rubbing the base of his cock with probably a shockingly cold hand. He responded with a little puff of air and a thrust of his hips into your hand. 

His dick was warm and you laughed at using it as a hand warmer. His cock grew harder with each stroke and his eyebrows knitted themself into patterns on his forehead. He wore his focused expression but with closed eyes instead. 

You dragged his pants down, slightly cringing at the thought of his sensitive skin hitting the cool night air. Your solution? Taking as much of him into your mouth and rubbing his thighs trying to keep his warmth. 

Alejandro woke himself up with a guttural groan. He was quick to figure out the situation, he hadn't fallen into deep sleep. His chest rising and falling as he lifted a hand to brush your hair with his fingers. 

“Fuccck cariño, you look espléndido debajo de mí~” he’d be too needy, too cocky to stop himself from thrusting into your throat. Throwing his head back as he did so. 

He wouldn't care how he’d cum. Either cumming on your chest or deep in your throat, it didn't matter. He just wanted his mark on you. 

“Feel better now?” You’d joke and he chuckled, interrupted by distorted breathing. 

After he did catch up with his breath, though, he'd be on you like an animal, smirking in that magical way. 

“ I need you baby, so so bad” He’d hover over you, pulling you into a heavenly makeout session, so close to the stars. 

König

It had started the day before. You had no real way of knowing if König was just busy or if he was, like your gut was telling you, ignoring you. Some days it was just difficult figuring what was happening in that gorgeous covered head walking 2 meters above the ground. 

You didn't always know what was going on inside of his head but you'd give him space if he needed it.

Going to the common kitchen for a hot cup of coffee you saw him pour his own. Taking the time to admire your boyfriend as he was standing out like a sore thumb in the small tea kitchen.

Of course, he'd know you were staring. A soldier in his rank would be dead if he couldn't notice your ogling eyes. But he didn't say anything, just turned on his heel. You thought he’d sit at the small metal table, but no, he stormed out of the room, through the opposite door. Which was further away than the one you just came from, you noted to yourself.

Ok so he was mad. While watching the instant coffee melt, then foam up, you thought of what you could do. It wasn't easy to confront him like this. You two would be texting frequently when either of you was away, but right now you were both here and it felt obnoxious to text him when he was right there.

“Man problems, huh?” You heard the teasing tone of Soap coming up from behind you. 

“How do you know that?” You question him. Staring at him you knew that if HE knew - there was a good chance it ment bad news. 

“Sorry i notice the 2’ meter and hell man running away from his ‘little rodent’ or whatever he calls you' You snort, thinking fondly of the actual nickname your boyfriend called you during the softer moments together. Little mouse, you wanted to be his little mouse in his shirt pocket right about now. It bothered you deeply that he was acting this way, and soaps expression turned slightly less smirky when he saw your expression change. 

“Yeah i don't know he seems upset at me but i don't know why” you sighed. Soap gave you the best advice he had, which was useless anyways. His relationship dynamics not matching yours at all. 

König continued to not even look in your general direction for the rest of the day. You got tired of it and tried to call him before bed. He didn't pick up. You wrote him a message before throwing away your phone and going to sleep. “Hey what's up? Please talk to me König.” Your message was left to read. 

The alarm called its usual warcry at 6 am. You had gotten your hours but felt restless. The situation with König was affecting you more than you thought it would. Especially looking at your phone and seeing that König had not returned anything. He could be really upset if you did not respond to him reaching out. You couldn't blame him for his anxiety but at this moment it felt especially cold. Fuck this, you’d confront him. 

First thing in the morning you had a briefing and Soap was really enjoying this new aura on you. You stayed silent, frustration bubbling underneath your skin. You stood up and left with a loud bang of the chair you were sitting on falling. But you didn't care. You didn't care if Price would view it as a sign of disrespect. That was something you could deal with later, you left for later. 

This time, when you entered the tea kitchen, he was sitting there. Uncharacteristically all of his focus was on his phone. So focused in fact he didn't seem to notice your shadow slowly encompassing his sitting silhouette. 

“König, talk to me.” You commanded but choked on your words, biting the inside of your cheek in exasperation. Tears threatened to escape your eyes when you saw his hood flow in a sigh. He went to stand up but you put a strong hand on his shoulder and prevented him from doing so. He gave an impatient groan in response. 

“Please if i did something wrong at least let me know what” His icey eyes looked up into yours. The staredown that most likely lasted less than half a minute felt like an hour in a snowstorm. You saw the storm under his irises. “Not here” He mumbled, rolling his shoulder to push your hand off but indicated for you to follow when he left the room. 

He led you to his quarters. A route you had not taken in painfully long but knew by heart. The silence on the way there was new though. The only sound was cadettes yelling vaguely in the background, the constant hum of electronics and his heavy footsteps. 

He opened the door for you, the room hitting you with his comfortable smell. But you felt a stranger in the room, you. The way he now stood over you. Awkward position behind the now closed off door. The sound of his heavy footsteps had been replaced by your heartbeats. “So…” You wanted answers. 

He started pacing around the room. Periodically looking in your direction. You let him think. His shoulders dropped and he stood before you. “You.. if you want him more, then just go” He took your hands in his own, brushing his thumbs over your knuckles. 

You paused in partial confusion and disgust. Who was this other man? “König i have no idea what you are talking about” 

He puffed in impatience “Soap. I see the way you look at each other” the silence that followed felt like fire. As much as you wanted to respect the insecurity of your lover you lost it and started hysterically laughing. “SOAP? You can't be serious. I see that idiot as an annoying brother at best!” 

He gave another sigh in annoyance “Please take me seriously y/n. Don't toy with me like this” His eyebrows furrow visibly under the mask. 

“Entschuldigung mein König, didn't mean to make you insecure” You stepped closer. It was comforting to know that his behavior did not stem from him growing to dislike you but you still felt guilty for making him think you had a thing for another man. 

After talking it out with him you had both grown exhausted. He was sitting on his bed, head in his hands. You stood in front of him, taking his hands away and placing soft kisses on his temples. 

“Nap with me, bitte” His eyes blinked tired, the blue orbs staring up into your eyes expectantly. 

You laid together for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The familiar smell of him under his garments and gear. The way he held onto you, made it feel like you were two puzzle pieces joining together perfectly. 

You were the first one to wake up after a couple of sweet hours. You took the time to look at his sleeping face, seeing him so vulnerable, unlike what he shows to everyone else. 

When you shifted to get better access to his face you felt something else. You froze contemplating what to do in this situation, before getting an idea. I’ll show him I'm his, you thought to yourself, a smirk forming on your lips. 

You moved away under the duvet, cringing at the cold air hitting your body. Looking up at him you could see his peaceful expression had changed to one of slight discomfort at the exposure to cold air as well. 

Taking in the sight of this large man, in this large bed. You’d plant kisses starting from how far you could reach when still being straddled just below his hips. As soon as you’d put weight on his crotch he’d sit up, awake and alerted. He’d look puzzled, disheveled his short hair pointing in all different directions. “What,  what are you doing?” He’d question. 

“I'll show you it's only you who I want.” His eyes widened as you pushed him gently into a comfortable resting position again. 

Releasing him from his underwear, you’d hear him start groaning. “Gott I missed this” he’d whine, already too desperate for his own good. 

Starting to stroke his reddening cock, his large hands gripping the sheets. You only hummed as a response, spitting on it to lube it up. 

His breathing was irregular and deep. He was touch starved severely due to most of his life spent in the forces. 

His hands found the back of your head as you decided to take the tip into your mouth. He was impatient, so close already - and not in the mood to wait. He pushed you down, not paying attention to the small gags coming from you. “Gott~” He cursed with his head thrown back. 

He’d cum fast but hard. His body tensed. He’d cum down your throat no questions asked. Though he’d be a bit embarrassed by his behavior as he calmed down. 

He spent the hours following glued to you. Either in bed or around the base. Soap made an effort to disappear as soon as he could hear the familiar Austrian giants footsteps. 

[usafphantom2]

17th August 1943. The most ambitious attack planned by the USAAF’s Eighth Air Force to date was launched against the Messerschmitt factory at Regensburg and the vital ball bearing plants at Schweinfurt. Over 370 aircraft were to take part. 146 would bomb Regensburg before flying on to North Africa in the first ‘shuttle mission’ of its type, while the rest would strike Schweinfurt and return to base, There was to be a half hour interval between the two groups, not enough time for Luftwaffe defences to regroup.

However, the British weather was to play havoc with this complex plan from the outset. Thick cloud delayed the takeoff of the Regensburg force, while the bombers bound for Schweinfurt then waited several hours longer. This meant that instead of having to counter two simultaneous raids, Luftwaffe fighters could strike one formation, then refuel and rearm before engaging the next. The consequences would be severe.

Though the Regensburg formation was accompanied by P-47 Thunderbolts and RAF Spitfires, they were relatively few in number and had to turn back at the German frontier, the limit of their range at the time. Losses to Luftwaffe fighters and flak soon mounted, with 24 of the 139 bombers which crossed the Dutch coast being lost. On reaching North Africa, 55 more were found to be too badly damaged for immediate repair by the limited facilities available and were left behind; many never flew again.

The experience of the Schweinfurt force was no less painful. Though some Bomb Groups escaped relatively unscathed, others were badly mauled, in one case losing 50 percent of its strength. Escort fighters fought hard to protect their charges, but again had to turn back at the German frontier. Attacks by Luftwaffe aircraft continued throughout the inbound and outbound legs. 36 B-17s of the 230 on the Schweinfurt mission were shot down, while a number of other aircraft were written off on return to base.

The attack on Regensburg was judged a success, with the first bombs being particularly accurately placed. Many factory buildings were severely affected, while an unknown consequence was the damaging of construction jigs for the Me 262 jet fighter. At Schweinfurt, the bombing had been less concentrated, though German reports still showed a substantial drop in ball bearing production. Nonetheless, in both cases production swiftly recovered, while efforts to disperse factories to less vulnerable locations were accelerated.

Armaments minister Albert Speer later stated that immediate follow-up attacks would have had far greater consequences, but this didn’t happen. The loss of so many aircraft - and 600 trained aircrew killed, missing or captured - meant that no deep penetration raids were flown until early September. It was becoming clear that the USAAF’s faith in self-defending bomber formations was badly misplaced, and long-range escort fighters were desperately needed. Yet it would take a further devastating mission against Schweinfurt in October to bring about a pause in Eighth Air Force operations against Germany.

Pictured:

1) Smoke rising from the Messerschmitt factory at Regensburg on 17th August.

📷 American Air Museum FRE 7719

2) B-17s of the 379th Bomb Group over Schweinfurt.

📷 American Air Museum UPL 19606

3) B-17 of the 100th Bomb Group, force landed near Dübendorf, Switzerland, on 17th August. The aircraft had fallen out of formation on the run in to bomb Regensburg with two engines damaged by fighter attack. The entire crew were interned for the rest of the war. More than 70 B-17s and B-24s would land or crash in Switzerland by April 1945.

📷 American Air Museum FRE 4095

4) Airmen of the 385th Bomb Group meet civilians in front of B-17 Flying Fortress nicknamed "Shack Bunny" at Telerghma airfield, Algeria, following the Regensburg raid. Serviceable bombers later flew back to Britain, conducting an attack on Bordeaux airfield en route.

📷 American Air Museum FRE 1345

@JamieMctrusty via X

[youlooklikeasixtiesqueen]

here are all my thoughts and notes from purcon!! not formatted for tumblr but readable!!!

Day 1:

Opening:

everyone was so happy to be there, and so shocked how many people were there!!! 2500!!!

they showed vids before bringing everyone on stage and continued that throughout the panels. it's a cute touch

Misha auto:

he smiled and i got shaky knees and giggled like a 12 year old with a crush

jensen was at the table next to him!!

very quick but there was a huge line

he signed my book!!

i said "hi misha" and he said hi back

he looked at my destiel shirt and smiled :)

Ty & DJ:

started by telling us thank you for the congrats on their engagement

you can see how much they love each other!!! no pda but the way they look at each other!!

plus they both said multiple times that meeting each other was the best thing that happened

dj has been obsessed with eastenders since the 90s, never missed an episode

ty told everyone not to smoke cigarettes

dj had a glass of wine (it was 1pm)

left 5 mins early to get the Darius auto

Meeting Darius:

so nice and kind!! gentle vibes, literally what you would expect from misha's best friend

i was 2nd in line out of four people

four people in the autograph group so he talked to us all for about 15 minutes as a group

he signed his name on the picture, then asked if misha was going to sign it as well. i said no so he asked if he could sign misha's name for him and we all laughed and i said yes and it literally looks like misha wrote it

he told us him and misha have a competition to see who can bring the other person to a bigger event - darius took misha to the oscars, misha took darius to meet zelensky, but now darius got invited to meet the pope!!

talked to us a bit about filmmaking and how the picture aspect is basically the same throughout film history, but sound changes every week

it took 26 weeks in post for the sound of metal to get the sound right

he's friends with emilia clarke??? and said that she was so upset over the got ending because so many babies have her character's name

he felt the spn ending was rushed

sooooo handsome in person and the nicest voice

darius is getting austrian citizenship bc his grandma was from austria but she had to flee

Mark:

only saw the last bit but he was of course wandering the crowd

talked a lot about mental health and how we're not alone

said the best place to have a panic attack is a spn convention

Sachin & Osric:

fun!! not that interesting but fun!!

sachin just learned about destiel. like minutes before the panel started

talked about being poc in the industry and how much better it has gotten

Jared:

it was fine but again not interesting

talked about pranks

talked about maybe being on the boys

talked about mental health

Misha & Jensen:

an hour late bc they made jensen do photos :(

they played the confession right before they walked on stage???

question queue was very long, they took about five or six not so great questions

someone asked what their fave gym equipment is (wtf) and misha said it's the towel to slap others on the butt with

but they were very fun!!

some people decided to tell a sob story at the mic which wasted time. like they know you love supernatural, they know you're nervous, you don't need to tell them.

they joked around a lot

three touches!! fingers, high five, hug!!!

you can just see how much they adore each other

darius was sitting on the steps but they wouldn't give him a microphone :( hopefully he'll come out at misha's panel tomorrow

Day 2:

Jared & Jensen VIP:

question abt Radio Company coming to Germany

Jensen says they're discussing it, his fave songs are Quarter To and City Grown Willow

Mario Kart characters - Jared Yoshi because he poops eggs, Jensen Blue Shell guy??, his 7yo plays Rosalina, JJ can beat him in Mario Kart now

Jared is 25% German (maternal grandpa)

Jensen wants to turn his next Purcon visit into a vacation

one person is talking so slowwwww

Jensen would want to reshoot Bugs without the bees

They had to do a bee allergy test where someone actually picked up a bee with tweezers and made it sting them

3 part question 🙄 with backstory 🙄 about their kids and if they can grow up normal and if they have a strategy if their kids read fanfic

Jensen played baseball in HS

His first school play was a musical

Mark:

thanked us for letting them do the panels in english without a translator

Crowley was more excited to spend time with Dean instead of being in Hell

Mark went upstairs and helped a fan who had a bad photo with Jared

Got a standing ovation

Ty & DJ:

DJ used anti wrinkle creme on his balls but he stopped when his doctor said it would make him infertile

Ty told us to listen to a 23yo Canandian who sounds like Johnny Cash (Colter Wall??? maybe??)

Ty listens to a lot of country, DJ doesn't really have strong feelings about music

DJ adopted a dog who pissed on his belongings for 10 years - he was supposed to live until about 2 bc of health problems

DJ says to watch the movie Overboard

several questions were asked yesterday

DJ, Ty, and Ty's daughters have matching tattoos (they got them drunk) it's a little skull

Sachin & Osric:

Osric is Timon, Sachin is Pumba

Misha:

couldn't do notes bc i was in line!! wasn't picked tho, because everyone rushed to the microphone before the last panel was over

one person spent five minutes monologuing

misha said people should ask him questions on their knees

Bishagate reference!! He asked a girl if she was coming out as an alien and she said "that's rich coming from you", Darius laughed so much (while he was still on the stairs)

Compared whipped cream to cum

Darius was on stage!!

Jared:

greeted us with Guten Abend, Guten Tag, and howdy y'all

said it's not a goodbye to spn, it's a see you later

said swan song was easier than sacrifice bc he was lucifer for swan song so he had to act... reminder: that's his job...

first question was not a question

second question was a prank question

trivializing the thing where jared put coins in misha's car!!! wtf

praising mark p ew

woman keeps talking about her alarm sound which is german dean

called out a woman's shirt that says "save an impala, ride a winchester"

looks like jared will be on the boys, he basically confirmed it

he likes mountains more than beaches

says they might do a beach episode in the future

talking about the finale and the dean death scene

wants to bring jdm to the next con

Jensen:

GIANT line to ask a question

first woman named her kid Dean Jensen

hates toy slime bc it's all over his house

danneel moves a creepy doll around the house to mess with jensen

question abt cas in the winchesters and cas returning!! how to address the confession!! jensen thinks the confession was a long time coming and beautiful and raw and real!! dean understands cas loved him!! said cas saying he loves dean was clear text (rather than subtext) said cas and jensen found each other and when they meet again cas' feelings are just understood

says demon dean is stronger than soldier boy bc demon dean has no soul

boys question - jensen talks about herogasm, jack quaid just told jensen good luck when he went on set, nobody on set knew what was lube and what was hand sanitizer, he was unprepared to see so many naked people, he was standing next to a guy when the robes came off and he "had to do the glance", couldn't help looking at people having sex "there's four people here in a position i've never seen before"

woman crying while asking a question

woman said dj said he wanted to exchange his husband for jensen, and jensen said he doubts it because ty is pretty great

woman telling bad jokes, one about how women having orgasms is like a snowstorm because you can't see it coming?? not true for either i think

jensen needs to do more solo panels. i could listen to him talk for hours

i can't believe i was in the same room as this man wtf

[starshower1215]

Levihan High School HCs: IB Program Edition

(Mainly for me. A select number will understand... warning: prone to edits)

Code:

IA - Internal Assessment

HL - Higher Level (2 year course)

SL - Standard Level (1 year course)

EE - Extended Essay

CAS Hours - Basically volunteer hours

Levi hates touching banisters and handrails on staircases, so he hangs off of Hange's arm.

Hange takes HL Biology and HL Chemistry. They keep track of HL Physics and HL Math material, though, out of pure intrigue. They probably had engineering courses, too.

Levi is in HL Psychology and HL History. He just wants to get his diploma and leave. Or maybe Math HL, he seems like he'd be inexplicably good with numbers.

Hange is in robotics and, surprisingly to most, is in track and field with Levi. Hange does long distance, though. Levi meets for long distance practices as well as practice for sprinters but usually is a sprinter during track meets.

In this universe, Levi is still broke (damn), but he takes the road of education as opposed to crime in order to find himself opportunity. He's hoping to get into colleges this way.

Levi and Hange join humanitarian clubs together, like Red Cross and UNICEF. They love getting CAS hours together.

Hange studies German and Levi studies... also German, maybe?

Hange is a natural at public speaking. Their speeches and presentations are always incredibly well thought out and articulated beautifully.

Levi did a Math IA on tea and the ideal time it would take him to cool the tea for optimal temperature, considering the average time it takes him to finish a cup of tea so that it stays hot for as long as he needs.

Hange checks out textbooks from the school library for fun, often Gen. Ed. books.

They take a lot of AP classes, too, and encourage Levi to do so as well. Hange is going for an IB diploma as well as an AP diploma.

To maximize success, Hange ate, slept, swam and lived in German. They thought in German as they were doing all their studies for other classes, so they gained a lot of extra knowledge. Thus, in the Individual Oral Presentation, Hange talked their professor's ear off about some obscure topic they fell down a rabbit hole for after doing a school assignment in German. They probably scored a 6 or 7.

Hange's global presentation was about life below water. Levi's was about something related to poverty conditions.

After school and extracurricular activities, they like to study together on a call. They'll both be awake at the most odd hour in the morning, half delusional while working on their EEs or studying for exams.

They are each other's alarm clocks. If one wakes up before the other, they'll give the other a phone call to wake them. Usually Levi does the waking, since he sets an alarm regularly, but occasionally Hange will wake Levi.

Due to stuff like this, both of them are constantly seen charging their phones at school.

[the-conversation-pod]

Summer 2023 Ep 2 - The Eighth Sense

AND WE'RE BACK!

It seems like every season we're going to have a single show dominate the conversation and the zeitgeist so much that we have to dedicate an entire episode to it! This season it was the Korean-German team-up about a boy so sprung that he joined a surfing club even though he couldn't swim. Strap in for a long discussion!

Nini and Ben dive deep into The Eighth Sense to discuss the international nature of BL, the way film history plays into our stories, the role of forgiveness in our lives, and the role of community in queer development.

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Google Podcasts

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond to chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

0:00 - Welcome 1:04 - The Eighth Sense 18:00 - The Relationship Between the Seniors and Juniors 27:45 - The Hedwig Incident 36:32 - Ae Ri 42:50 - Ji Hyun and Jae Won 50:38 - Joon Pyo and Boss Lady 56:28 - Let's Talk About the Kissing (and Episode 6) 1:06:21 - The Party Scene and Forgiveness 1:17:14 - On a Possible Second Season 1:24:10 - Checking in Two Months Later

The Conversation: Now With Transcripts!

We received an accessibility request to include transcripts for the podcast. We are working with @ginnymoonbeam on providing the transcripts and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader.

We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes. When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

1:04 - The Eighth Sense

Ben

Welcome to The Eighth Sense episode! Nini and I had so much to say about this that we decided to give it its own episode, separate from our overall consternation from whatever is going on in the land of K-BL, because this felt distinct. This was a piece of work from a German and a Korean filmmaking team, and it created unique results. So we're going to speak to you all for the next hour and a half? [laughs] about it, and then we'll come back at the end with some reactions to the show and how we're feeling about it a few months later.

Nini

Let's go.

Nini

We are here today to talk about The Eighth Sense, and only The Eighth Sense. Benjamin. What is The Eighth Sense about?

Ben

See I had her a little bit annoyed before we started talking. She gives my full name because she's still mad at me for being obnoxious. The Eighth Sense —

Nini

[laughs]

Ben

The Eighth Sense is an age gap college romance between a new freshman from the Korean countryside and a very wealthy Korean man, who is the heir of his family, who's recently back from military service and trying to finish school. They kind of meet by happenstance at the freshman's job and instantly have a connection between them which they both find themselves drawn to and pulling on. 

And over the course of the show the freshman, Ji Hyun, ends up joining the surfing club to hang out with Jae Won, the senior, and a romance blossoms between them… but we hit a lot of very familiar western queer storytelling drama beats. It blends fairly well with the Korean storytelling beats, as these two eventually choose each other as they're trying to move forward with their lives. Much drama ensues because of the older boy’s deep mental health issues. It's a really simple plot. It's just incredibly well executed.

Nini

Well, let's talk a little bit about that execution. So this is a… it's a Korean production but it's co-directed by a Korean director, Baek Inu, and a German director, Werner du Plessis. And I think that that interplay between the two filmmaking styles, between some of the hallmarks of Korean filmmaking and then some of the hallmarks of like classic German bildungsroman… They interplay really interestingly I think, in terms of the way that it's executed. A lot of people are saying that The Eighth Sense made them think of Skam? I have not watched Skam so I can't really speak to that, but in terms of certain aspects of the techniques of the filmmaking that I've seen, in terms of lighting and color and all of those things, I could see the comparisons that they're making. 

But I feel like this show… it's something all its own? We've talked on this show about how K-BL was starting to get a little repetitive and feel like it wasn't, you know, using its time well and all those other things. And I think that those are criticisms that you can't level at The Eighth Sense. It does use its time well. I feel like it is well thought through, I feel like it uses its budget well, I feel like it… really engages me, like I'm not going to forget these characters. I'm not going to forget Ji Hyun, Eun Ji, Tae Hyung, Jae Won, Joon Pyo, Yoon Won, [laughs] I'm not going to forget these characters. You know what I mean? These characters have sort of touched something inside of me, particularly Jae Won. 

I feel like it came along at just the right time for me to not write off K-BL. [laughs]

Ben

I mean, is it really K-BL, though?

Nini

Well, that's the question isn't it? Because a lot of people are like, ‘oh this isn't, this isn’t BL.’ I think it's very firmly BL, but I don't know how much it feels like K-BL.

Ben

It is not relying on… the tropes or beats of traditional yaoi, as evolved by Thailand's fiddling with the formula, and what's recently been happening in Korea over the last three years-ish. When you called it like a German coming of age thing, I can feel some of those influences here. In terms of the pacing, and the knowing. 

So one of the things that BL is not very good at doing that I don't always enjoy is… BL doesn't know how to make characters always gay. Like their queerness activates when it's relevant, because they're thinking about it now. It isn't… built really into the way the character is functioning. But when you're writing queer cinema, a queer character is always queer. It is always complicating their life in some way, and that feels present here with Ji Hyun and Jae Won. Particularly when it comes to the ways that two of them engage with each other. 

Ji Hyun gets clocked constantly by everyone, because he's obvious to them. Jae Won and he bump into each other at the restaurant and recognize each other, flirt outside of the restaurant. Ae Ri recognizes these things in him very quickly and she starts covering for him; Eun Ji sees this in him right away, and beefs with him immediately over Jae Won. Yoon Won I think picks up on it right away, which is why she's always calling him cutie. And I think the boss picks up on it too, which is why she's kind of protective of him. 

This works for me because he's so clearly different, and I like how he clearly had these big dreams about ‘I'm going to move to the city and I'm going to live my best gay life.’ Then he moved to the city and got scared, because it's such a big place, all these strangers, and it's confusing because he's not used to dealing with urban systems… And so like, he immediately retreated a little bit. He just picked up a job, so he would only have to deal with one person, because it's like a one woman operation and like the freshman temp worker she's relying on? [laughs] And I think that's one of the big things that separates it for me with most of the BL we've experienced, like Ji Hyun always feels gay for me, in the way that Ji Hyun is very… protective of himself but very honest in general. Like Ji Hyun doesn't offer himself up easily to other people, but he's consistently honest and forthright with them. And like, after his big ol’ incident — where he almost dies, and I’m calling it ‘the incident’ [laughs] — he turns really sassy, but he's still being honest, he's just not tempering that. And also he's a little bit pissy, because he has a right to be. 

So like that's the biggest, I think, line between like, BL per se, and what we might call queer cinema, when I'm watching them. Like their queerness is not active only when they're flirting, like other BL characters often feel for me.

Nini

Hmmm. That's something to ponder… It is clear that Ji Hyun does get clocked pretty regularly. You know I always have a soft spot for the ones who can't hide, and… so, I can get like why the boss is protective of him, why Joon Pyo is protective of him — like, even though Joon Pyo doesn't really know? He knows something, but he doesn't really know that Ji Hyun is queer, and it's this really funny scene when he finds out in the end, and he's just really upset that, you know, Ji Hyun didn’t tell him that he had a boyfriend. 

Ji Hyun feels recognizably queer, in some intangible way? Like I think about my gay friends and my gay family, and… that thing that you said about a person who is gay being gay all the time and not just when they're flirting with somebody? [laughs] That really resonated [both laugh] Thaaaat really resonated, and I think is also a little bit of shots fired for some of BL.

Ben

I don't know that I want to fire shots at the other dramas in this regard, because… it's not fair. Because some of these things are intangible, you can't really always do them really well or correctly. It's not like I have obvious guidance, like ‘hey, here are the five tips to make your character seem authentically queer when you're writing your little stories!’ [both laugh] And like, that's not fair. 

What I can do as a amateur critic, is point out that this character reads queer to me: from the little gay rainbow lamp he has, to the way he had big dreams for the city then feels a little bit disappointed about it, to the way he sees a really hot boy and immediately decides to do — to join a dangerous club just to get some dick. Like that's the kind of dumb shit that baby gays do! Like can you swim? No. So you joined the surfing club? Was — was the dick even that good? Yeahhh. All right, well, shit! [both laugh]

Nini

The man said that, before he nearly died, he was the happiest he had ever been in his life. He literally said that. [laughs]

Ben

This poor boy's whole brain got rearranged by some good dick! God damn.

Nini

Our other protagonist is Jae Won. Jae Won is a poor little rich boy, he's a tragic figure with a tragic past.

Ben

He's a sad little meow meow.

Nini

He really is the saddest little meow meow. It’s up in the air whether he's closeted or not. I don't feel like he is? But I also feel like he doesn't advertise. Because it doesn't feel like any of his angst about Ji Hyun is about the idea of him dating a guy. It doesn't feel that way.

Ben

Jae Won feels therapized. He… definitely is aware of his queerness, and seems mostly inconvenienced by it. His father is described as aggressive, and there's all of these pressures on him to be a certain kind of man, and a certain kind of son. Like they get mad about how emotional he is, they get mad that he's out drinking with his friends… so he's definitely been forced to be closeted about it? So I think he is definitely aware of it, and the reason why I think he's aware of it is, Ji Hyun calls him out on it in the last episode, when he's like, ‘You had a lighter in your pocket, the first night you met me.’

Nini

It's not that I feel like he doesn't know himself, like he knows himself, I think that much is clearly obvious in the story, he knows himself. The question is whether the people around him know. I feel like Eun Ji definitely knows, that's why she's so im— one of the reasons she's so immediately hostile to Ji Hyun, because she knows.

Ben

She knows, but I don't think he's told her. He just feels really modern about it, like, yes he's gay, if you ask him directly he'd probably just shrug and be like yeah, sure, whatever, but people aren't going to ask him that. They don't want to cross that line, because they want to use him, and trying to embarrass him about that is just gonna get you iced out of his life. Again, like we know that the surfing dudes hadn't really considered it, because they're like no, Jae Won's not that way. That's also like the men, though. Like every single girl in the story clocked every single gay boy the whole time. The boss, Eun Ji, Ae Ri, Yoon Won, all clocked Jae Won and Ji Hyun. And Jae Won didn't even know about it, because Yoon Won was like ‘you better do right by that boy,’ he's like ‘what are you talking about?’ and she was like ‘girl!’ and he was like ‘all right, shit.’ [laughs]

Nini

Jae Won is not closeted but he's not out either. Let's put it that way.

Ben

I think he was closeted by default, but he had already worked through the, ‘if I really connect with someone, I will step out for them.’ And you can feel that, with the way he tries to casually say to the boss, ‘yeah I have feelings about my boyfriend,’ and the way he's forthright about it with Ji Hyun. Because I feel like he had emotionally prepared for the moment? And once he decided to commit to it, all of that work came out right away.

Nini

Well, even before he says it to the boss or to Ji Hyun, he says it to the guy at the, at the rest stop, when they're heading off to that fateful trip. It's not even a big deal for him to say that. And that's why I was wondering like, well is he closeted or is, has just nobody just ever asked him about it? And I think I'm going to land on your side of things here with, probably nobody ever asked him about it, and he didn't feel the need to announce it.

Ben

Right, and I think that's where — that's, that's mostly how he reads to me.

Nini

Do you think that Tae Hyung knew?

Ben

Yes, because he kisses him all the time. But, he knows it in the way that stupid-ass straight boys know. Where they know, and they want the attention, and they kind of want it, but they would have to be gay and they can't actually do that. Which is why he gets so… bothered about Jae Won caring about other stuff. It's the same thing we see all the time, he gets mad that he's not being paid attention to, or that Jae Won doesn't care about the things he wants him to care about. Or isn't being as miserable as they want him to be.

Nini

You know what I think is actually a subtle hint? In the first few episodes of the show, the way that Tae Hyung keeps pushing Jae Won and Eun Ji together, keeps pushing them towards each other, keeps bringing Eun Ji into the spaces. Now that I'm thinking about it, at the beginning I just never quite figured out why it mattered so much to him? But now, it makes like a strange kind of sense, if he knew or if he at least suspected… why he would keep shoving Eun Ji at him.

Ben

Right, because if she — he chooses Eun Ji, it's at least, like, the woman that he was okay with, I guess. And like it gives him some sort of weird control or investment in whatever they have going on. I feel like at some level Tae Hyung knows. But again like that's part of why this show feels more queer for me than some other stuff, because we're having this really complex conversation about who knows, doesn't know, at what level do they know, what does their knowing imply about the way they perceive Jae Won — like that's the world real queer people exist in. Where it isn't just who knows, it's what do they do with the knowledge.

Nini

I'm really recasting, like, my initial reactions of the whole Tae Hyung, Jae Won thing.

Ben

I mean if you, I don't know if you remember, I hated that motherfucker from the very first time we saw him! [both laugh]

Nini

Ben could not stand his ass from jump.

Ben

Like, the very first episode I was like, ‘oh I hate this boy so much Nini!’ [laughs] and she was like ‘damn bro, they just had like one fight!’ and I'm like, ‘oh no, it was not just one fight.’

18:00 - The Relationships Between the Seniors and Juniors

Nini

Speaking of fights between Jae Won and Tae Hyung, perfect segue. 

Ben

Let's talk about him tagging that ass though.

Nini

We're kinda jumping around here, and one of the reasons that we're jumping around is I feel like, talking about The Eighth Sense, like it doesn't really, it's not really useful to talk about it in some kind of chronology, or in terms of the plot. The plot's there and the plot is good… 

Ben

The plot is… a country boy snags a chaebol. It's very good.

Nini

Yeah, the plot is very simple, I feel like The Eighth Sense, the, the real meat of the discussion is in the relationships — in all the different interactions that these characters have bouncing off of each other, in some of the ways that they interact with society? I feel like that's more of where the meat of talking about the story comes from. There's going to be a lot of jumping around in this discussion I think because of that.

Ben

We’ll talk about Tae Hyung, but more specifically we'll talk about how strong the characterization is for all of these characters. Like the biggest thing that's interesting about this show is, all the seniors are miserable horrible people.

Nini

Terrible. [laughs]

Ben

All of the freshmen are not — but some of them could be. I think that's Bit Na's role in the story. Yoon Won, Eun Ji, and Jae Won are all seniors who probably should have graduated already, but because of the funding model of school and how you need to get a job, they're all stuck and they hate it. They're having the millennial problem of, we were told that if we were really good at school and we went to college and checked all the boxes, we would get decent jobs, marry wives, live in the suburbs, have a van, and have two point three kids. And uh… we didn't! And we've lived through crisis after crisis for… literally 22 years, and it sucks! 

And so like I get why Yoon Won, Eun Ji, Jae Won, and Tae Hyung are so frustrated and so pissed about all of it. And like they can't even be happy about any of it, like Tae Hyung wasn't drafted, but it's not like it worked out for him, it's not like he got to do anything useful with school, and like get ahead and go work somewhere, which is why like he's glomping back on to Jae Won. Because he's his last hope, that maybe somehow Jae Won getting control of his dad's company will get him a useful job, and maybe he won't be such a piece of shit. But he's such a selfish prick that he can't do anything with it. 

Eun Ji is clearly a status chaser, and she really wants to be the wife of a chaebol. And that's why she's trying to lock Jae Won down. 

Yoon Won is the only person that Jae Won ends up having a real connection with, because she's frustrated, but she's trying to do something positive, like ‘hey I'm gonna be stuck in school for a while but I'm [gonna] try and keep the surfing club afloat while I'm here. I hope you can get a chance to relax and I'm really glad that you came back and helped us out because — you’re really good at it, and I'm really glad that you're here.’ Like, she's the only person who's thankful for Jae Won's presence because he offered it. And she asks for literally nothing else beyond him except, ‘so hey you feel like getting a pizza and a beer with me? I really want to go to this place but the guy only speaks English even though he lives in fucking Korea.’

Nini

[laughs] That was bizarre.

Ben

And he's gonna be such a dick about it! That felt like a dig at foreigners moving to Korea.

[both laugh]

Nini

I completely agree that Yoon Won feels like the only person who is interested in Jae Won and not in what Jae Won can do for them, in terms of the seniors. And that's why their… thing works. And Jae Won says it when they're drinking in that foreigner's bar. He's like, ‘you know, when we started school I really didn't like you. But now you're kind of the only person who—’ [laughs] Basically he tells her that she's the only person he doesn't hate, so.

Ben

Right? And he call — she calls him out, like ‘I know you hated me, you piece of shit. But it's fine. We're cool now.’ [laughs] But again like, in terms of like, early episodes… she's the only person in the series [who] respects what he wants. She's like ‘Okay, I'll take the new kid because he clearly can't swim. You take the two girls, because you gay, you ain't gonna do nothing with them girls. Teach them girls how to swim right.’ He's like ‘No. I wanna go with the boy.’ She's like ‘Girl. Are you sure?’ and he's like ‘Nah nah nah, I really wanna go hang out with this boy.’ ‘Allll right.’ [laughs] 

But again, everyone else disrespects him — ignores his stated desires, constantly. Yoon Won is the only person in the show who, when he says he wants something, she lets him have it. And then she's like ‘Hey the cute boy drew a picture of you… wanna see it?’

[both laugh]

Nini

She gives him so much shit in like her own way, I love it. You know I’m all about besties who give you shit, you know that's my favorite, [laughs] that's my favorite trope. Besties givin’ you shit. 

But yeah, so you've got all the seniors who are stuck and miserable because, I mean, other than Jae Won — if they all came in at the same time, other than Jae Won because of his military service — they should have all graduated already. And the fact that they haven't, and they're all there just kind of, you know, sitting there miserable staring at each other, is a big commentary on everything. 

So compare them to all the freshmen. Now, the freshmen are… still young and hopeful and they have all this energy and all that stuff, and it’s such a contrast to the seniors who’re all fucking miserable. Even though there's fear there, particularly, like sort of shown up in the person of Ji Hyun, there's still this kind of enthusiasm? And then there's this brightness that comes off of them? And you kind of understand why Yoon Won and Jae Won gravitate, kind of, towards the freshman. And they feel protective of them, and they, they want them to have a good experience? That's one of the things that I really enjoyed about, for example, the surfing trip. They really invest in making sure that the freshmen have a good experience, like they keep the skeevy senior guys away from them…. they tell them they don't have to drink, they tell Tae Hyung, like, stop being a creep.

Ben

Right? They keep telling him to fuck off, they're like, ‘None of these rituals or things you're supposed to do that we did did anything for us. It didn't move us forward, it didn't make us closer to our seniors, it didn't help us succeed at school. We just got bullied by people who are older than us. And you hated it too, so chill the fuck out.’

Nini

Yeah! I like how invested they are, Jae Won and Yoon Won, in making sure that the freshmen have a good time, and that they're taken care of and protected. I really did like that. Like, it's almost like they want to help them preserve their innocence for a little bit longer, which I found was a great commentary to be quite frank… [laughs] I did love that. And then you also see, like you were mentioning in the character Bit Na, you're seeing somebody who could go along that trajectory towards misery, that landed Eun Ji and Tae Hyung where they are now.

Ben

Exactly, it's implied that she's doing all the things, like, you're Expected To Do(™), but there's a little bit of her being like ‘No I'm not gonna drink all that stuff from you’ and like at the end, like, she's furious with Tae Hyung. She's like, ‘No! I know that you've been causing problems for me, because you have a possessive crush on me. Fuck you. Get out of here.’

Nini

Scram! Beat it! [laughs]

Ben

Pulls out her little spray bottle: sks sks sks Move! [both laugh] Go on now, get!

Nini

So, she's sort of the antagonistic force that's pushing back against that stuff, while Ji Hyun and Ae Ri are more like that force that's laughing at that stuff. One is like, dismissive, and the other is… antagonistic. And it's two ways of dealing with the same thing.

Ben

I love how when the two of them start to bond, they just turn into like the meanest little catty duo. They're like ‘Oh well she hasn’t mentioned you at all” and “Oh has she really not? If I had a crush and had a best friend I know that I would be talking to my best friend about the crush, so… it's really embarrassing for you that she really hasn't mentioned you at all to her, right? Oh geez.’

Nini

[laughs] And he says that and then he doesn't tell Joon Pyo about his crush. Terrible.

Ben

And that's why Joon Pyo was pissed.

27:45 - The Hedwig Incident

Nini

Let’s talk about Ji Hyun and Ae Ri being catty for a second. So, we've already seen Ji Hyun and Ae Ri in class making fun of, like people giving their presentations… for this class on, I guess some kind of film studies course or whatever, because they're doing these presentations about films that they've watched or whatever. So we've seen them doing their little mean girl duo act in class already, where they, you know, kind of quietly snicker at whoever is in front of the class at the point in time — which I mean, come on, who hasn't done that with your friend in class? [laughs] 

When Ji Hyun comes back from his accident, the one that they're making fun of — and this is the part that I wasn't quite sure what they were trying to say, because I didn't recognize the character. So at first I didn't know if it was a character we had already met or if it was just a character that we hadn't seen before. And I think not knowing that also made things a little more difficult to parse? Because you get the sense from the way that this character talks to them that this is a character we're supposed to know who it is. That we have seen before or something. But I don't recognize him. Anyway. So this character is doing their presentation on Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which is a… queer classic?

Ben

I have not commented on this particular moment on Tumblr, because I didn't feel like getting flamed? But this is The Conversation! So I will say what needs to be said. So a big part of this film critic class that they're taking is that most of these presentations people are giving are only doing surface level reads of the source material. And this guy's read is not that deep either, but he dresses as Hedwig and thinks like he should be getting a lot of points for that. Whereas, they give a really solid read that understands the themes being explored in the Park Chan-wook film…

Nini

I’m a Cyborg, But That’s Okay?

Ben

They give a really solid presentation, they clearly understood the themes involved, but their presentation didn't have a lot of pizzazz, and they barely passed the class team. But they don't really care, because they took what they needed from the course: they engaged with the source material, they understood it, and they moved on, whereas he's cosplaying as Hedwig, a gay character. Does he appreciate the life of this gay character? 

Which for me felt like this show taking shots at performative queerness happening with BL in particular. A lot of these boys are cosplaying as gay: do they understand gay people? Do they understand the lives we live? Like you're sitting here beefing with me, an actual gay, and my hag over our presentation. But do you have any appreciation for who we are? Why don't you go ahead and scamper your ass down a little gay district off here and figure out what gay people actually live through? Like people didn't like that because they thought it read as transphobic, which it probably did, and I'm not going to begrudge people what they took from it. But for me I read it as you can cosplay as us, but you ain't us.

Nini

Hm. So I have never watched Hedwig, so… I couldn't really get a read on what they were trying to do with this? Because I didn't know if what the guy was saying had any weight of understanding to it.

Ben

It didn't… like even just knowing the film by reputation alone, and knowing older gay men who loved it, his read on it was weak. And it's, that's what, that's what I got, like — I don't want to drag anybody who is like ‘this is transphobic, and gay people should be better’ — it's also a surface level read on what's going on there. You're reacting to the fact that they diss a guy in drag, but not why they dissed a guy in drag — who started beef with them! I come from the school of talk shit get hit. So. [laughs]

Nini

[laughs] My main reaction to it, like I said because I, I don't have the… the context. Right? So my reaction to it was just kind of confused? I think that's what my overwhelming reaction was. I was confused by what was happening, I wasn't sure. I'm seeing all the takes, you know saying this is transmisogyny, this is transphobic, this is this that and the other, but the only thing that didn't read right to me about those takes — again, acknowledging that I didn't have the context — was that I don't know that this guy is part of queerness.

Ben

You know he ain't one of us because he couldn't walk in heels! You don't cosplay as Hedwig and not walk in heels.

Nini

Fair.

Ben

It's fine… The reason why I let everybody have it is, it was a deep cut and it wasn't for everybody. And that's kind of why I love The Eighth Sense because, the people who don't do their homework, who don't do the research on the genre history, who don't watch this stuff, who don't really engage in complex interactions with queerness — they kind of miss these sort of things. And I think that's okay, like, does the interaction read a little transphobic? It does. Do gay men's interactions with drag queens and other trans people often read transphobic? Hell yeah, they do! But I got it. 

Like, is it a great interaction? No, but… you ain't gonna last long in queer spaces if you can't handle a botched interaction.

Nini

I feel like it was probably the only really clunky part of the show, in that it wasn't clear. I feel like everything else that happened in the show was, it was very clear — it was abundantly clear what the show was saying, what the characters were saying and feeling, what they were trying to do. But I feel like this moment, this particular interaction, was the only time I felt like the show got a little… got a little clumsy.

Ben

It's the only indulgent thing that the show really does. It's the German director's favorite film, and he was taking a dig at people who get caught up in the fact that there's… gender performance stuff in Hedwig, and the wearing of the wig and dressing as a woman stuff, but they're missing, maybe the meat of the story. They focus on the wigs and the makeup, but not the person and the story. 

I have this particular beef too, like — I had an interaction with a colleague about what parts of queer cinema that they should maybe check out. And they really just wanted me to validate the things they wanted to watch. And that's kind of how this guy reads to me… like, the gay boy in the room is laughing at his performance. ‘How dare you laugh at my performance, I know I did my fucking research, I know gay people!’ [both laugh] That's — that's how that felt for me. Like, bro, why are you in my face? Like, go drink your juice Shelby, shit!

Nini

When you just said it like that, it made me think about white gays appropriating the language of the ballroom.

Ben

Well yeah, exactly, that's exactly what it feels like! Like… you aren't us, but you're wearing us. And it's fine, like you can get your little grade, you can make your little coins. But like, the rest of us are still here, trying to create queer lives that have meaning and comfort to them. Are you going to be with us there? That’s, like, if we're going to beef with this show for being rude to a guy in drag… what have you done for us lately? Like you might be queer too, and I don't mean to make you feel bad… but also if you're queer and all you do is watch BL, there's way more work to be done sweetie! 

Let go of your beef about the Hedwig scene, go watch Hedwig. Go watch I'm a Cyborg, But That's Okay. Then go watch the fucking sequences where these kids gave weak-ass takes about these really classic films, and then understand why they were getting laughed at by the teacher too. Like sure you dressed as Hedwig, but do you appreciate her? No? Okay, you get a B plus, I guess. Thank you for wearing drag.

It's not the most elegant moment in the thing? But it's one of those moments that it's like: who knows and who doesn't know?

36:32 - Ae Ri

Ben

Let's just talk about some fun gay shit. Let’s talk about Ae Ri! [laughs]

Nini

Ae Ri’s an interesting character. Ae Ri is a Seoul kid, so she's not like a country mouse innocent like Ji Hyun. She's with it, she knows what's going on, she, she understands the haps, you know what I mean? She's savvy. And she becomes Ji Hyun’s…

Ben

She becomes a hag. Let's call her what she is. Let's give her the term of endearment that we used to hand out to the best of the ladies.

Nini

She becomes the hag, yes, she becomes his fairy godmother. The way that she just kind of scoops Ji Hyun up? And is just like, ‘oh you poor little baby, come, let me help you because you very clearly need help’ [laughs] I just think that's delightful. I think that the way that their friendship develops — because at first Ji Hyun is convinced that she has a crush on him. And honestly, I'm not sure that he was wrong.

Ben

Elaborate.

Nini

I think that she clocked him when she had actually like, spent time with him?

Ben

I don't think she was paying attention to him until he drank the — until he drank the liquor for them, and then she's like, ‘Why would he do that, because all he does is look at Jae Won — Ohhh.’ [laughs]

Nini

Yeah, I feel like that's, that's where we go with this, it’s like ‘Aww! He's nice! Let me go scoop him up because he clearly needs help! Because he is not going to make it like this.’

Ben

He did though, like he needed somebody to be like ‘Bro. If you're trying to be closeted, because it seems like you are, let me just be clear: you’re doing a terrible job sweetie. Also? Them fits is busted. We need to buy you some clothes, like immediately. We're going shopping right now.’

Nini

It's like, ‘You’re trying to get Jae Won's attention? This is not how you do it. Okay, we're gonna need to accentuate those eyes darling. Ok?’ [laughs] 

She's the best girl. She ends up being protective of Ji Hyun, and because she's protective of Ji Hyun she also becomes protective of the people that Ji Hyun cares about, and Ji Hyun cares about Jae Won. So she becomes protective of Jae Won [laughs]. And she has claws! And she will use them. We talked about it earlier, but that scene where she just very neatly — she and Ji Hyun very neatly take Tae Hyung apart. The reason that they take him apart is because he goes for Jae Won, and Jae Won just looks really sad about it, and they're like ‘Not to-fuckin-day! We are going to end your entire career.’ 

She's the best girl. She's the best girl. I want her to have everything that she wants. I don't know what she wants, because it's not really clear, but I want her to have whatever she wants. She just seems to be vibin’, and I always love a character who's vibin’.

Ben

The reason why I like Ae Ri is, in a room of seniors being awful to her friend, she stood up and challenged them — and that was scary for her. Like she broke down in tears after that confrontation with the other seniors and Eun Ji. If you read that a certain way you're like, well is she weak or whatever? Like no, it's, it's scary to stand up in front of a bunch of people who are being awful and tell them like no, you guys are mean and this is not right.

Nini

That confrontation among the surf club after Ji Hyun has his accident is so ugly. You really see how self-centered these people are, these seniors. They do not care that this kid nearly died. 

Like yeah ok, they're upset about their club getting canceled because it's not technically fair. It's not like, you know, this was a club activity that he got hurt at. So yeah, ok, it's not technically fair, but the claws that they have out! And the way that they completely dismiss that at this point Ji Hyun is still in the hospital! It's not like he's back. He's still in the hospital, and they are so catty and vicious.

Ben

I don't even know if he was conscious at that point.

Nini

Yeah! He's — like he's, they're all so vicious about it. It's like they don't care whether he lives or dies? They don't care about anything other than the fact that this is inconveniencing them. And… that, Ae Ri takes that in, she like feels that, she internalizes that, and she realizes: y'all don't give a fuck about us. 

Which, which we’re dealing with like intergenerational relationships, and you're in a situation where you are the low man on the totem pole. You expect a certain amount of care and consideration to be taken with regards to you, because you're, you're the low man on the totem pole, you can't protect yourself necessarily. You need these people to care for and protect you. And… realizing, quite clearly and unambiguously, that these people will not protect her. They will not protect any of them. They don't care. Like I can understand why she breaks down.

Ben

Exactly. Like it's terrifying to realize that the people you're asked to respect do not give a shit about you. They'll demand abasement all the time, but when some shit popped off, did they care about Jae Won? Did they care about Ji Hyun? No, they're like: wow this is awfully inconvenient for us isn't it.

Nini

It was so ugly. I just remember being shocked, like you — I felt that one, you know what I mean? It wasn't just like, the intellectualization of what was happening on screen, I felt that deep somewhere inside of me.

42:50 - Ji Hyun and Jae Won

Ben

My appreciation for The Eighth Sense is more intellectual than it is emotional. I think it's very excellent: I gave it a 9.5 when I rated it? But I'm not… obsessed with the romance of this the way I might have been in another show. I like the way this one unfolds; I really like the way these two talk to each other. I like the way they see each other, I like that they totally misunderstood each other after the near-death crisis moment, and I like that other people pulled their heads out of their asses for them, so that they could be together, and then they followed through on that. 

But because this is just a very ‘boy likes boy’ sort of story, there isn't really a whole lot to say about the romance, but I do think we should take some time to unpack how we see Jae Won and Ji Hyun engaging with each other.

Nini

Yeah, so let's do that. These two are, as you would have said before, drawn to each other from the start, like Jae Won clocks Ji Hyun in the restaurant, Ji Hyun clocks Jae Won… I haven't rewatched the first couple of episodes as yet, but I think I remember that when Jae Won goes outside to smoke, Ji Hyun follows him?

Ben

Ji Hyun is outside, maybe on like a break or whatever? Just decompressing after a stressful moment, and all of Jae Won and his friends are maybe thinking about leaving. And then Jae Won asks for a lighter so he can light a cigarette.

Nini

He asks for the cigarette first, because he doesn't have a cigarette. He asks for a cigarette and he asks for a lighter, which is why I thought I remembered Ji Hyun following him outside, because the lighter that he gives him is the gas match for the restaurant, not like a, a standard bic. It's the big… gas match that he uses so — to light the cigarette for him, and he gives him two cigarettes. One for now and one one for later.

Ben

Jae Won was definitely flirting in a subtle way, and then Ji Hyun responds in a way that's like, I see you, but it both gave them the chance to back off of it and just write it off. Which is where I started to really appreciate the show, because… BL flirting is too overt sometimes.

Nini

It’s a dance that I've seen before, this kind of, I think you are but are you? And there's like these little subtle signals, and all these other things… I mean I don't need to tell: you're gay, you know.

Ben

[laughs] No no Nini! Go on!

Nini

Hilarious. [both laugh] Fine, read me.

Ben

Nah, it's, it's legitimately fun for me to see what other people are picking up on.

Nini

The thing is that it's so easy to dismiss, and it has to be. So these two, they clock each other, they do the dance, you know — ‘are you? I think you are, but are you? I think you are’ kind of dance.

Ben

What's so fun about them dancing is, like it could have been a one off moment. But then Ji Hyun joins the surfing club. And Ji Hyun forces Jae Won to see him. Like ‘No, my name is Ji Hyun, what's yours? You said you wanted to be friends. Were you just bullshitting me, or were you just flirting?’

Nini

Yeah, Ji Hyun is actually pretty…

Ben

He's so brave! I love him!

Nini

He is pretty forward for a baby gay, I will say that.

Ben

He knows who he is. And he sees a boy in pain — who's very pretty — and he's like, ‘I can help him.’ Not ‘I can fix him.’ ‘I can help him’ — Ji Hyun doesn't really demand anything of Jae Won really. He just won't let Jae Won fully push him away, and continues to offer him emotional support. He's incredibly patient, in a way that maybe city folk aren't used to.

Nini

Being city folk myself I can't, like, speak to city versus country in that regard, because I simply don't have the country experience.

Ben

I'm from Louisiana! [laughs]

Nini

The extra shot in that daiquiri gettin to ya, huh?

Ben

It really is. We are two-thirds of the way through this 32 ounces? That's a lot. [laughs]

Nini

There is something to be said for like, the way that Ji Hyun is… he's brave, he's forward, but he does it in this kind of quiet still way. He's pushing, there's definitely no doubt that he's pushing. But he's also not pushy?

Ben

When I was really on Twitter a lot, there’s this writer I used to follow, his name is Anthony Oliveira? He's queer, and he used to say like once or twice a day on his Twitter, he would say: Be brave enough to be kind. And that's where Ji Hyun fits for me. Even when he's being catty with people, it's only with people who came at him sideways. It's… the Hedwig boy coming at him for no reason, it's Eun Ji beefing with him for no reason, it's Joon Pyo picking on him a little bit, and him being like nah, fuck you bro. Other than that, he treats people really well. He gives people back the energy they give him. Like when they drag Tae Hyung, we mentioned this earlier, he was being shitty about Bit Na when she wasn't even there. And it's like bro, she don’t owe you nothin’. 

That's kind of what I love about Ji Hyun, because that's what he gives Jae Won. Jae Won flirted with him a little bit, he flirted back. He won't let Jae Won run away after starting that with him, like ‘Hm! You made a mistake — you should not have started this!’ And like, he's so confident at the end, like he's singing a song, like, ‘I won, ha ha!’

Nini

It's like ‘Jae Won’s miiiiiine, Jae Won’s miiiiiine’ [laughs] I love that so much! 

Ben

And Eun Ji’s like, ‘What’s it like to win?’ and he’s like ‘Hm, I’ll tell you later tonight!’ [laughs] And let's talk about that boy later that night, because he pinned that boy down… he's like oh no, we've been here for four hours of this TV show? It's time to get mine.

Nini

Ahhh, he literally said — what's the line that he said? ‘Don't laugh, you don't know what's coming next.’ 

Ben

Right? I was like, baby boy!

Nini

I loved that, I loved that!

Ben

I was in my — I was like yeeeeees bitch, yeeeeeees!

[both laugh]

Ben

Get! It! In!

Nini

He's like, I — he's like, I may look, I may look innocent but I ain't that innocent, you know, kind of…

Ben

He said I am suited, tooted, and booted!

Nini

He’s like, I have the internet, I know how these things go… [laughs]

Ben

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake.

[both laugh]

Nini

God I hate you. [both laugh] Oh god…

50:38 - Joon Pyo and Boss Lady

Ben

Speaking of getting it in… let's talk about my boy Joon Pyo.

Nini

Hello! Hello. I said it in the clown server and I'm gonna repeat it on this podcast and I don't care how filthy it is okay? You just know — I'm sorry he might be a virgin, but I know that dick game bomb. I know it!

Ben

Look, we've been here a while; anybody who's still listening wants to be here. Let's talk about this for a second. Both Yoon Won and Joon Pyo are fat characters, who are seen enjoying food repeatedly in this show, and I am so glad that the two of them get to have what was clearly a very enjoyable makeout session with each other. And got to vibe for the rest of the night, and are confirmed to dip — off to wherever they're going on their own, so we got time to do our little gay thing we need to next to my rain! bow! lamp! in this room. 

My boy! He's been there for his homie the whole time, because he knows his friend gets lonely, he tries to make sure he does social things with him. Maybe he's a little overbearing, maybe he's a little codependent, but he had his boy’s back, and when his boy was down for the count? He starts working at his job, treating the boss with respect — because the boss seems like she might be picky about who she lets work with her. And she seemed to like Joon Pyo too! He brought that man his school supplies to make sure that he didn't have to lose a semester. And when he found out that his homie was gay, and the reason he almost died was for some dick? He was like, ‘shit was it worth it? Yes? We need to secure that bag, don't we? What we doing next?’

Nini

He was for it!

Ben

He stumbled briefly, he's like ‘Wait, Ae Ri knew before me?’ ‘Yeah, but she's from Seoul, she clocked me, I don't know.’ ‘All right, so she's just smart. Is she cool? Are we friends now, does that mean I get to hang out with cool people?’ My man is always looking at the best way to proceed forward. Ain't nobody doing it like my man Joon Pyo.

Nini

Not just that — when, after all this shit when Ji Hyun and Jae Won finally get back together, Joon Pyo clears out of the room that first night, he's like, ‘clearly y'all got some stuff to be doing and I don't want to be here while y'all do it.’ 

Ben

Right? Jae Won, he's like where'd you, like I felt — I felt it for Ji Hyun, like he wakes up in the morning and Jae Won's gone and like, that boy is not well. We knew that boy almost hurt himself in the show. Ji Hyun’s, ah, understandably worried, he goes out and he's just vibing with with Joon Pyo and he's like ‘well what's going on here?’ He's like ‘well Joon Pyo hung out outside all night for us, so. He brought us coffee, I'm honoring the man's commitment to us.’ And Joon Pyo’s like, ‘you're very pretty and popular, like… would you please take me clubbing?’ He's like ‘hell yeah, let's go clubbing. Let's get you some, son!’

Nini

[laughs] I love that!

Ben

And he's like ‘how do I need to dress, how do I need to be?’ He’s like ‘man you just need to be yourself’ … says the rich boy with all the nice clothes. [laughs]

Nini

You just know that Jae Won gonna make it rain on Joon Pyo at the club. He's going to make sure that he has everything.

Ben

I love Joon Pyo. I liked how there were kind people even in Seoul, like… like these are two freshmen clearly not used to Seoul who want to try specialty drinks for the first time. And I like how that bartender only teased them briefly, and then gave them the kind of popular drinks people their age might want to enjoy. Like that felt so gentle to me in a way, and it really stuck out when I watched it.

Nini

I feel like one of the things that the show gets right, that I really enjoyed, was that the businesses around a university are really accustomed to having students — particularly new students who don't know what the fuck they're doing. The people who work and who own and work in businesses around a university can really be quite nice like that.

Ben

That's how I feel about the boss character. She clearly loves young people, in a genuine way, and like Eun Ji thought she was really doing some stuff, ‘Oh I'm about to post a negative review on you on Yelp.’ And I like how she's like ‘Business improved as a result of your negative review, you insufferable waste of human flesh.’ [laughs] People were like, ‘So this mean catty person got chewed out by, by a business owner for being rude to the support staff? Yeah, we should go to that place.’

I like how the boss doesn't have a name, because it doesn't really matter if she has a name or not, because she's a temporary component of their lives. They're not going to really remember her name in a way that it matters, they're going to remember the things she said to them. They're going to remember how she treated them. They're going to remember like, how she helped them grow, how she pushed them to choose the things in their lives that they wanted. And like that's what matters about her character. Like, that's why they don't give her a name, because it doesn't matter what her name is, because she's so much older than them that we don't have to distinguish her. She is the positive older mentor figure in their lives.

Nini

I just think of her as such a, I mean, [laughs] Because you’re right, she doesn’t get a name, but she is so important to… not just having the story unfold, but she's important to the characters. 

56:28 - Let’s Talk About The Kissing (And Episode 6)

Ben

Let's talk about the kissing?

Nini

You go first.

Ben

Oh absolutely not. [Nini laughs] You of the… you of the, ‘all of the kissing is bad and I have notes?’ [laughs] 

No, it's fine, I'm gonna go first cause, I have more fun than you sometimes with these terrible kiss scenes. I will say that overall I enjoyed the execution of intimacy in this because everyone is very earnest, and I never feel like I'm not observing the character. This is shored up by the fact that Im Ji Sub gives absolutely terrible kisses with Eun Ji’s actress, on purpose. Straight actors will win me over so much in queer cinema when, when they're forced to kiss women, they look like they hate it. [laughs]

Nini

From a character standpoint I found it very believable.

Ben

Okay.

Nini

I found it extremely believable from a character standpoint. It wasn't pretty, but it's not supposed to be pretty? Jae Won is definitely more experienced than Ji Hyun, and that shows? It works for me, because I don't feel like Ji Hyun is supposed to be good at it. I feel like he's new to the whole thing, and because of that, the enthusiasm carries more for me than the technique. He's new to it but he's going for it in a particular kind of way. There's some little acting choices that Oh Jun Taek does, like he opens his mouth, like really wide when —

Ben

I loved it! The first time I thought, I was like, go — I was like go in baby boy!

Nini

I loved that, because — that's the kind of thing you do when you're learning to kiss, you overcompensate.

Ben

I love it.

Nini

You overcompensate when you're learning to kiss, it’s one of the things that you do, so I actually really like that detail? He looks like he wants to swallow Jae Won whole, and I really [laughs] really like that —

Ben

I fucking love it, I loved it so much —

Nini

I really love that and that's, that's the kissing at the end, but then the kissing sort of in between as well, is really… good, because those kisses — those kisses like towards the end… like they're together at that point, you know what I mean, it's a whole different thing. But the way that he kisses him before that, there is a little bit of tentativeness to it, some — in some parts? When they're surfing when they're on their trip, and he kisses them in the sea? Like, in terms of pretty? Those are the pretty, those are the prettiest kisses, like you know what I mean? Those, those aesthetically pleasing, all that good stuff, and you feel the sense of euphoria that's coming out of it? They are having this whole moment, there is so much joy in those kisses, which I truly love. 

And that's the other thing, like every — all the kisses have different moods. And you know I like to follow the trajectory of a relationship through the… to the intimacy and how it's being portrayed. So watching all the kisses and the, all the intimacy have different moods to it? Fantastic. I can't complain about it. Is it pretty? In a lot of instances, no. Does it feel real? Absolutely a hundred percent, all the time.

See? See?

Ben

I'm so relieved y'all, because normally I'm like ‘I really enjoyed that!’ and Nini's like ‘Hmmm… it was terrible’ and I'm like, ‘Awww.’ [laughs]

Nini

You know, I'm out here being Beyonce, ‘look at my technique,’ you know kinda thing [laughs] And Ben's like ‘No!’

[both laugh]

Ben

Leave them alone! They're doing their best, shit.

Nini

No… No but I really, I did, I did like it here. It's also maybe something to do with the style, because the style is so vérité? When you get an ugly kiss — quote unquote ugly kiss — in a vérité style, it feels different…

Nini

…than when you get a quote unquote ugly kiss in a style that's very polished.

Ben

I know what you mean. Like a —

Nini

You know?

Ben

Right, right. When it feels very fanciful and like ‘this is the best kiss that's ever happened,’ and you're like ‘oh but it wasn't.’

Nini

Yeah, exactly. [laughs] Precisely.

Ben

All right, so, while we're talking about the intimacy and stuff, I think we should talk about episode 6 reactions. First, I'm going to say that I loved episode 6, and I particularly enjoyed the way they handled the intimacy of episode 6? I think that was very appropriate for… the newness of the actors, the lack of an intimacy coordinator… 

I want to talk about the reaction. I don't know if you were on Tumblr for this, but there was a lot of discussion at the end of episode 6 where people were saying that episode 6 was not real. That it was fake — and I have written on Tumblr on record about how much I hated that take, and I want to unpack it here.

Nini

I did see the reactions on Tumblr, I mostly stayed out of it… I didn't really delve too much into The Eighth Sense discussion? I did do, like a little thing about Eun Ji, but I didn't really delve into The Eighth Sense discussion because I wanted it to play out. I felt like The Eighth Sense is one of those shows that… the episodic discussion wasn't going to give much. I felt like it's one of those shows where I needed to see the full, the full thing, to really… understand. Because it's not — as, as we said earlier in the show, it's not really one of those… episode by episode kind of things where the plot is what's driving it or whatever, it's really about the interactions that these characters are having, the way that they're interacting with their surroundings. 

It's why we've been jumping back and forth in discussion, and like it's how I felt about it while it was airing, so I really kinda, didn't really delve too much into the whole episode 6 discussion. I saw it, but… I wasn't getting into it.

Ben

I guess I'm just gonna deliver a little read while we're here then.

Nini

Okay!

Ben

[laughs] Here we go!

Nini

Here we go.

Ben

I don't want to disrespect anyone before we get into this. Let me be clear. Like, I do believe people were relying on very fair reads of traditional filming techniques, for why they believed that some parts of… episode 6 might have not been real, or that Jae Won would— became an unreliable narrator for it? But I think it's very important to talk about this. 

Just because it's unpleasant to consider does not mean it's not real. This is not meant to be read as disrespect to those of you trying to make sense of what's going on because you were nervous and concerned for Ji Hyun. That is valid. But, please understand, that for me — this is just me! As a queer person in these streets with y'all — whenever you all seemingly get squicked out because one of us isn't being entertaining or sexy? It makes me feel a little bit unwelcome. That's all I'm going to say about that, because you know who was right as of episode 7? Me! It was real!

[both laugh]

Ben

I was insufferable that week, I feel sorry for everybody who had to talk to me.

Nini

[laughs] I didn't think you were insufferable.

Ben

I felt insufferable. I was smug! My crops were watered.

Nini

The field in which you grew your fucks was barren.

[both laugh]

Ben

I don't want anyone to feel embarrassed if you just — felt called out by what I just said. But I would like you to approach these shows with just a little more kindness. The goal of watching TV is not to be right. It's about finding connection — with fictional people, and the real people who are also finding that connection with you. It can bring you closer to other people. It can help you understand other people. It can bring you just a little bit of peace and joy in an otherwise difficult time. There are no points to be awarded, you are not taking a test when you watch these shows. So please… be kinder to yourselves. Be kind to the people making these stories, and be kind to the people who are also watching them alongside you.

Nini

[singing] Message!

Ben

I'm a little drunk but that's all I'm going to say on that!

1:06:21 - The Party Scene and Forgiveness

Nini

Let's talk about that end scene, the party.

Ben

Okay, let's talk about forgiveness for the next thirty minutes. [laughs]

Nini

I think that's a good segue from what you just said: let's talk a little bit about forgiveness.

Ben

I'm gonna let Nini talk, because I just made you guys feel bad for like, probably 10 minutes of this edit. 

Here's the thing: Nini and I… came down on the side of forgiveness for this. But Nini and I are a little bit older than some of the viewers, so… I'll let you talk about the final scene and particularly how there were mixed reactions to Jae Won’s and Ji Hyun’s decision to reconcile, at a party, with Tae Hyung and Eun Ji: the two worst offenders of this particular story. Nini?

Nini

See here's the thing: I didn't read it as a reconciliation? And that's probably why I have a, like a different view of it. So the way that I read that is, when you're stonkingly giddy happy… when you are at a celebratory event, when you are… drinking, let's just be real about it… It is so easy to just be like, ‘You know what? I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue. I just want to let all this go… like, there's so much love in this club, I'm just gonna…’ [laughs] 

Ben

And there is love in this club tonight! Some of you don't even know.

Nini

That's part of it. That's definitely part of it. But also, you have to understand what's happening with Tae Hyung, and with Eun Ji in here as well. 

Tae Hyung is a dick. That doesn't change throughout the show. He was a dick at the start of the show, at the end of the show he's still a dick… nothing about him changes. But you get to understand the value that Jae Won finds in Tae Hyung. Because he… outright asks him, Tae Hyung asks him ‘Why are you still friends with me?’ because Tae Hyung doesn't even understand why Jae Won keeps him around. And what Jae Won says about that, he’s just like… Basically he tells him, ‘I keep you around because you don't mask and I find that really refreshing.’ That's basically what he tells him. 

And that makes so much sense to me. And it also makes me understand why he would just let the shit go, at this point. Because Tae Hyung's not going to change. We see that at the same party. He continues to try to hit on Bit Na. He has to get read to the ground by Bit Na for his bullshit. Tae Hyung is never going to change.

Ben

That's true. He's the most bitchless motherfucker in the whole show.

[both laugh]

Nini

Completely! A hundred percent. He's never going to change, and Jae Won finds that comforting. Also, I have seen men forgive each other for all kinds of shit? So that just read a hundred percent true to me. I have seen dudes fight, box, wrestle, nearly kill each other… and then two days later they're out together hanging out.

Ben

Dude I've seen them after the fight bloody, like crying, hugging each other like I love you bro! [laughs] And I'm like, the hell just happened?

Nini

That rang a hundred percent true to me… I think that if Tae Hyung and Jae Won stay in contact — because there's no guarantee that that's going to happen either, because they're coming to the end of things now. The fact that they're having this party because Yoon Won got a job means that things are starting to move. Where all the seniors were stuck before, things are now starting to move for them. They're coming to the end of this period of their lives anyway, so they've also got like a hefty whiff of nostalgia permeating the whole thing, and also? They don't know if they're gonna see each other really, after this. They don't know if they're going to stay friends. It's easy in that situation to just let the shit go, and I've seen the situation happen so many times before and I'm just kind of like, you know what? That rang true for me, I wasn't worried about that.

Ben

I’m with Nini. As a boy, I have friends like that. Where… you know who this person is: kind of a sad sack, kind of a shit heel, and you get it. But they're weirdly there? And so, you just accept these losses, like yeah he tried to get me kicked out of school but he failed, because he sucks, so… whatever. Was that annoying? Yes. Is he going to apologize for it? No. But he wouldn't be himself if he apologized. And like that's not great, but this is again a reflection of the current state of social… politics.

Nini

It's more of a question of, is this realistic? And to me, yes it is.

Ben

Nini and I are both from cultures that have carnival. And so like, I've seen this happen at Mardi Gras, where blood feuds have ended because, like, we ran into each other at a parade. And like, the right thing was said at the right moment, and people just let go of decades worth of beef. Like it can happen! And like, the question is like, does holding on to this anger at Tae Hyung help Jae Won take care of Ji Hyun? So let it go.

Nini

The way I can best describe it is: whatever, I'm over it. It's not like he's gonna, like make him like godparent to his first born or anything like that, I don't think that's where their relationship is going. I'd be surprised if they're speaking to each other in two years. For now, at a party? Everybody's happy, everybody's drinking. You're gonna go home with your boyfriend later and have a great time, like… [laughs]

Ben

Right? The music is good, the drinks are flowing, there's love in this club tonight.

Nini

The other one that everybody’s upset about is Ji Hyun forgiving Eun Ji. Now I also found that incredibly believable. Not just for party reasons but also for career reasons? Eun Ji is still his senior. The first thing he does, like when he walks up to her, is he apologizes for being snarky with her. In the moment and like the heat of battle so to speak, he might have popped off at the mouth, but he's gonna feel bad about it later. And I can see him, like, apologizing to her about it. And I can genuinely see her, having lost so comprehensively? Licking her wounds, taking a step back, and reassessing her entire life.

Ben

Here's the thing about the way she lost to Ji Hyun. What she realized from Jae Won handing her her entire ass was, Ji Hyun was never her enemy. She lost way before this boy showed up. And so all the beef she had with him in this whole competition for Jae Won? Was nil, because he said, ‘I saw you.’ And so all of the presumption she had about, like, what was at stake, is this a battle for Jae Won’s booty or whatever… Like none of that works out. He had already dismissed her. And he was adamant: he did not want to be with her, the whole time. So she feels like an asshole, because she's been in the wrong the whole time. 

And maybe like a part of her was true about this. Maybe she was just bitter that Jae Won was gone. She's mad about him being gone, but she didn't do right by him and she lied. That's the big thing, like she's been caught lying. There's no coming back from that. Whatever her goals were for Jae Won, she had to eat that bowl of shit, and set it aside. And like there's no value for her in beefing with Ji Hyun anymore, because it just further exacerbates how much of an asshole she is. This boy did literally nothing to her, and they are not equals in a struggle for the heart of a bisexual boy. She lost her chance before this boy showed up. And so it's actually good to see her becoming the senior she's supposed to be, now that she has some experience to maybe pass on and grow from.

Nini

I agree with that read, I really think that she's reassessing and reevaluating her entire life at this point? She's feeling a little vulnerable, she's feeling a little… raw. She’s feeling a little humbled, and so… when you're feeling that way, just what do you do? You sit quietly and you try not to do too much. I don't know if this feels the way that it feels to me because I am an old bitch? But… [laughs] The first and hopefully last time you ever find yourself beefing with a fetus? Like… [laughs]

Ben

BEEFING WITH A FETUS! AAAAH! [laughs]

Nini

You know I'm right. You know I'm right.

Ben

I know what you mean! I mean there’re times, I'm like, oh lord I almost threw hands with a 12 year old today.

[both laugh]

Nini

You literally like, when somebody slaps into you like, what are you doing? Like this is a child! Hopefully it only ever happens to you once. And hopefully you very quickly realize that you are, in fact… you're in an antagonistic situation with a child.

Ben

It's really hard to realize sometimes that you are wrong. And to accept that and try to, like, move on from it properly. Like, I think she does okay. And like, she's still an asshole… just like Tae Hyung’s still an asshole. But I think she does okay.

Nini

To me it feels right, that the end is not… a comeuppance in that sense or a vengeance, but it's more like everybody being like, ‘Look okay, we all been through it. Let's just hug that shit out. Maybe I'll see you again, maybe I won't, but for right now, we’re here, it's a party, let's just have a good time, and not like do all this shit.’

1:17:14 - On a Possible Second Season

Ben

Speaking of ‘maybe we'll see each other again’ how do you feel about returning to these characters?

Nini

As you always say: Dick is not magical, it does not fix you.

Ben

It does not!

Nini

And there's still a lot, particularly on Jae Won’s side, like there's stuff with Ji Hyun too, but especially with Jae Won, there's still a lot there… in terms of his mental health, in terms of his family, in terms of all that stuff. So… there is room there? For something else, that could be interesting, but… I feel like if this was all there was, I would be good with it. 

How do you feel? What, what are your thoughts on a potential sequel?

Ben

So we talked about sequels in the spring season and I was really amped about sequels! I don't… feel the pull for one here yet. I'm not opposed, because… these characters are so strong, like we're gonna remember these characters, we're gonna remember Ji Hyun, Jae Won, Joon Pyo, Yoon Won, Eun Ji, Tae Hyung, the boss… Ae Ri! Don't forget my girl, I'm sorry boo boo. We're going to remember these characters, and their characterizations are fairly strong. So I am confident that the voice of the characters is strong enough to carry them into whatever new situations they want to put these characters through. 

However… I believe that this particular outing had a lot of very specific things they wanted to say, about queerness, about being Korean, about being young in Korea… and I hope that if they really want to continue the story, that they have more things that they think are worth saying, and they do that in a way that's legible. I am just concerned that they aren't prepared for… a domestic story where one of them is still in school? And the other one is trying to survive their homophobic family? And abusive dad. And I'm not entirely certain that I am… eager to explore that? 

I'm not opposed to a sequel, I'm not yearning for one, but I do hope that we get more melodrama out of these guys. I enjoyed this production a lot! Even if we don't get more of The Eighth Sense, I hope that this team continues to make cool stuff. I really loved the way Oh Jun Taek played Ji Hyun this whole time. I loved the way he moved, I loved the way he spoke, I loved his smile. And like, I like how in the final episodes when Jae Won has, almost the Japanese running-to-the-boy moment, I just love the way that… Ji Hyun is just so ecstatic to finally get what he's been hoping for. And he's clingy for the final parts of this show, and he's having a good time! He's literally radiant for the rest of the show! Oh Jun Taek plays the relief and joy of that character so well. 

Like you see, even Jae Won, like you can see his old bones creaking. That's, he's like ‘I can experience joy again?’ as he quickly wakes up for this, and like — I feel like some of the… final bits were a little bit rushed? But I'm not going to complain, because like… I like the therapy bit with Jae Won, like it allows me to be forgiving about a character — who's had a lot of emotional struggles for the whole fucking show — to very quickly adapt to the situation, and like ‘no, we're boyfriends now.’ Like you can see the work of somebody who spent a great deal of time working with a professional about how he's feeling and how to manage them… expressing them properly, now that the hugest block is out of his way. And that lands really well for me in the final moments, like in another show it might have felt like this got resolved too quickly.

Nini

I don't feel like it did get resolved too quickly. If I have to do like, one more ding for the show: I think that the passage of time, particularly in this last two episodes, wasn't really clear?

Ben

It is not.

Nini

There's a sequence where Ji Hyun is in a classroom and he's sitting in different positions in the classroom and wearing different clothes, and we're meant to understand that that is time passing. So there is a bunch of time that passes, in episode 9 in particular, that I don't think it’s very clear to the audience that there is a lot of time passing. We're seeing Jae Won becoming stronger and stronger and happier and happier. But because it all happens in a montage where it's not clear that time is passing, it feels rushed. I don't know how much time there is? But it feels like they go through a season, because you see his clothes change. At one point he's just wearing a t-shirt, and then the next time when they meet each other up, they're back into like maybe something heavier, like more like fall clothes? So I feel like they at least went through the summer.

Ben

Though I did love this show, this is not a show that's going to be, like, part of my personal canon.

Nini

For me, it's like… I can appreciate it as being objectively good. I can feel the emotions that it was going for?... Watching it is kind of… ticking something off a film syllabus.

Ben

That's the exact feeling… that like, I think it is!

Nini

That makes it sound bad in a way, but I don't mean for it to sound bad.

Ben

It goes on the must-watch list, but you're like, ehhh.

Nini

It's all the things: it's good, it's worthy, it's enjoyable, it's emotional… It's all of the things that you want a drama to be. I will recommend it for sure, I think it's important work. I… don't really see myself rewatching it? It touches me but it doesn't give me the visceral feelings.

Ben

This is not calling the show bad!

Nini

Objectively, this is a 10 show for me.

Ben

Don't let our mid commentary at the end of this two and a half hour recording deter you. We loved this show! And like we said in the beginning, we will remember every single one of these characters, because they're so vivid, and they're so expertly crafted. Do we recommend The Eighth Sense? Wholeheartedly yes! Please! You should experience this. Go watch this.

1:24:10 - Checking in Two Months Later

Ben

Okay, Nini… it's been about two months I think since The Eighth Sense ended at this point? How are you feeling about it two months later?

Nini

As I predicted I have not rewatched it. I have not felt the need to rewatch it. When I was doing the edit I was listening to us talk about it and everything just came flooding back. Like I could remember distinctly how I felt watching it, the things that we were talking about, but I still don't feel compelled to rewatch it. 

I feel like it's one of those things where… it has stuck? Somewhere deep inside? And because it stuck I don't need to go back to it and reinterpret it and review it and look at it again, I feel like it was so clear. It was so legible. It spoke for itself really, and so I don't feel the need to go over and over and over it. It's very different from how I normally consume media because if I'm really into something I will go over and over and over and over it. This is… very different for me, a very different experience of taking in media. 

What about you Ben, how do you feel about it a few months down the line?

Ben

I feel a bit weird about it, and I think a big part of it is the way that the team behind it is continuing to release behind the scenes content in a way that I wasn't expecting — like I was hoping it’d feel more akin to… the gravitas with which Boss and them released the I Told Sunset About You documentaries. But it's been a little bit on the silly side? 

There's talk about them doing a second season. And I'm not opposed, but I feel like it's left me in a liminal space with the show, like I feel like I'm sitting on a, like a train station waiting for the next train to come. 

What has stuck with me, and I was thinking about this when I listened to the edit, is: I'm so glad that we had that whole conversation on forgiveness. Because let me tell you, the amount of peace I have had over this show because I'm not sitting here hating on Tae Hyung or Eun Ji all these months later? Because they just don't matter. I really like that the show left us with these two driving down a tunnel together and saying, ‘Whatever is coming next, we'll do this together.’ That's so lovely. 

Like I feel like where I was with the show at the end of it, like it is one of those things that goes… in my cataloging of, this is a really good piece that I am going to remember and recommend to the youths, when they ask me about things that are worth watching from certain places or from certain angles. But I don't necessarily find myself yearning for Jae Won or Ji Hyun the way I have for other people. It was fun though, revisiting our absolutely unhinged love for Joon Pyo when I went back through this. [laughs] I still love that boy so much.

Nini

Joon Pyo the MVP! Everybody needs a friend like him. Everybody.

Ben

He was a really good friend. 

I think what stands out for me really about The Eighth Sense is that the field itself is just so much more crowded now. So much good stuff was airing when this show aired, more good stuff has aired since this show aired. It's not a knock on The Eighth Sense, it's just that… we have such a wide variety of excellent offerings to choose from, that I find that you're going to be able to find shows that hit your specific emotional resonances more consistently. Regardless of how good The Eighth Sense is, it didn't fully resonate with the exact weird queer sensibilities I have, that would make me put it into one of my heart shows.

Nini

You know what it is I think, Ben? I think we're getting older. [Ben laughs] I think this is an intensely youthful show. I watch these coming of age dramas all the time I mean, you spoke about ITSAY and that still like hits me like a ton of bricks. But that's because it feels like my youth? 

Whereas, I feel oddly… both connected and disconnected from The Eighth Sense. It feels like a youth that I'm familiar with? But not one that I have experienced? We talked about the millennial thing when we were talking about the show, and how this feels like that. But it still feels distant from my experience of being a millennial somehow? I think maybe I'm just too old for the show. Like, I can appreciate it for what it is, but I'm too old for it and it doesn't hit the nostalgia buttons that I Told Sunset About You and I Promised You the Moon and shows like that hit. I think this is one for the kids, Ben.

Ben

I don't think that's bad! What I'll say is, I'm really glad that there is room for that now. We've been talking in other spaces about how fandom feels like it's bifurcating too many times now, that it feels thinner than it used to be? Like it feels like there used to be a lot more of us around. But I just feel like a big thing at this point is, we're not all trying to get some sort of energy from the exact same shows anymore. 

Right now I'm yelling on Tumblr about a whole show that Nini is just not watching. And I think that's okay, because Nini and I are still screaming at each other about at least two or three other shows, and so like I'm not feeling despondent because Nini, who's one of my best friends in fandom, isn't watching one of the shows that I'm really enjoying right now. It's okay that The Eighth Sense is the type of coming of age experience that maybe is more suited for the Gen Z types than the millennials.

Nini

So now that we have fully memento mori’d ourselves, I think that's that's a wrap for us. [laughs]

Ben

It's a really good show guys. Don't, don't get us wrong like we're, we're being a little bit wistful at the end of this, but — I really liked this show. Like I still, I stand by everything we said in the original recording. 

I really like the performances here, I really like the gumption of this entire production. I really like the casting choices. I like the way Oh Jun Taek and Im Ji Sub really worked together. And… sincerely, if they want to do more work with these two guys and reprising these characters, I will be there, seated, to see what they do next. 

Nini

All right! And with that, we out! Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben

Peace!

[spring-ephemeral]

the discord incident?

(in reference to my tags here)

oh god. okay. somehow this really escalated in length. sorry about that.

I was in a Discord server for a niche little hobby community. I wanna say there were like 20 members in total? Everyone generally knew each other by name and there had even been some irl meetups, so we were all fairly close. Anyway, back when BG3 came out, the admins created a dedicated channel for it because almost everyone was playing it, including obviously myself. Things were generally fine, except it did not take long at all before a clear pattern emerged that Wyll only had to be mentioned in literally any context once before like five fucking people would immediately emerge to whinge about how he was so uuuuuseless and so boooooooring, and how they all immediately removed him from the party and never talked to him at camp because he was so uuuuuseless and so boooooooring. Like I cannot emphasize enough how little I am exaggerating here, it really was every fucking time he came up no matter the context. The server's main admin was the one who started this shit almost every time and was generally absolutely the worst about this. There is genuinely just happening to dislike the sole Black character, there is disliking the sole Black character because you're judging him more harshly due to your biases, and then there is whatever the fuck was going on here.

The most uncomfortable this got probably wasn't even within the server, but at one of the aforementioned irl meetings for the main admin's birthday. At one point we started talking about BG3 because it was still the hot new game at the time, and I think we got to discussing who our favourite companions are, and her boyfriend (not part of the server) out of nowhere just fucking shouts across the whole room "But we all agree that Wyll should just be removed from the game, right?" (<- bit of a clunky translation, sorry). Even the other people who usually complained about his existence in the chat who were there were like "Nah, he can stay" in that moment. Well, other than the admin herself, of course.

Anyway. It should be noted that this wasn't a server full of young hip social media savvy people. Other than me and like 3 other people, everyone there was generally a nerdy German semi-normie in their late 20s or early 30s, so it's not like I'm expecting much. However, I am at least expecting to be able to talk with the 1-2 other people in the server who liked Wyll without someone fucking storming in and whining about his existence again. So even though I am non-confrontational to a detrimental degree, I eventually decided to compose some kind of message where I explained as politely as possible that I'd noticed this pattern, that this situation kinda sucked for the people who just want to talk about literally one of the main characters without the near instant bashing, and how it is especially uncomfortable that this behaviour was directed at the sole non-white character in the main cast (not counting fantasy skin colors here). And like, when I say non-confrontational, I really do mean it. I had someone else read through the message before sending it off to make sure nothing came off weird, I didn't name any names, and I couched it in like 20 qualifiers of why this didn't mean that they were therefore Bad People, how it's fine for them to just not like him, that it's not that serious because he's only a video game character, and that it probably really is just an unfortunate coincidence. Not that I really believed that last point considering how bad it had gotten, but sometimes you get desperate for people to just listen to you. The only thing I really wanted was for them to just shut the fuck up about him at this point.

Anyway. I send that message into the channel. Everything is fine for a few hours, responses are polite even in cases where someone didn't agree. And then at like 2am or some shit the admin barges in and absolutely flips the fuck out, acts like I came in and shouted "[Full name] IS A LITERAL NAZI" into the chat and basically all but says that "accusing someone of racism" (read: writing the mildest, softest message possible about wanting to be able to talk about a character without weird hate coming in) is worse than actually being a racist. She also dropped the legendary "I like Lae'zel, and she's green", which made me temporarily embarrassed to also be a Lae'zel enjoyer. This person considered herself progressive, by the way.

Unfortunately there is no real end to this. I tried to explain myself, she clearly couldn't get over how personally attacked she felt, we didn't really talk after that and I left the server for unrelated reasons a few weeks later. This did basically cause the BG3 channel to die, which I consider a win at this point.

[anniesuriya]

(DAVIKA HOORNE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER) Oh, is that ANYA "ANNIE" SURIYA? I heard the THIRTY year old is RESOURCEFUL. But don’t let that pretty face fool you, they are also GUARDED. Makes sense seeing how they are a TECH in the THE SOCIETY gang. (lune, 30+, she/her, est)

I. FACTS

full name — anya suriya

nicknames — annie

age — thirty

gender/pronouns — cis female, she/her/hers

orientation — bisexual

birthday — nov. 16

zodiac — scorpio

birthplace — bangkok, thailand

ethnicity — 1/2 thai, 1/2 white (belgian, english, german)

languages spoken — english & thai

height — 5’9

hair color — brown

eye color — brown

scars — various light scars on her fingers from a lifetime of tinkering, a burn mark on her right hand from trying to make a birthday dinner for her mother & spilling hot oil, a scar on her left leg from a knife fight, small scar on her jawline from falling off of a bike as a kid

tattoos — dragon on her right forearm, a lotus on her left wrist

pet — a cat named chihiro. she's a huge dog person but found chihiro as a kitten and kept her despite usually not liking cats

gang — the society (tech)

II. PERSONALITY

positive — resourceful, kind-hearted, resilient, compassionate, charming, intelligent, self-assured, friendly

negative — guarded, guilt-ridden, cynical, indecisive, secretive, stubborn, self-destructive

likes — spicy food, dogs, her cat and her cat only lol, alone time, late nights, small thoughtful gestures, photography, rain, horror movies, vintage clothing, antihero characters, folklore and legends, abandoned places, whiskey sours dislikes — being controlled, flashy displays of wealth, over-consumerism, crowded or overstimulating environments, fakeness, flattery, winter, mice, bugs, seeing people in pain, expensive restaurants, clear liquor

fears — fear of losing her empathy, spiders, heights, being alone, hurting someone she cares about, never knowing who she truly is, not being in control

habits — smokes when stressed, carries a worn-out satchel with her at all times, always has snacks in her bag, constantly checks her phone, steps back from physical affection like hugs, often speaks in half-sentences, collects trinkets, always has a picture of her mother in a locket, counts change compulsively, eats street food at every opportunity

hobbies — biking, running, yoga, photography, cooking, volunteer work, community service, sketching, collecting old technology (flip phones, vintage radios, keyboards), urban exploration

III. ABOUT

Annie was born in Bangkok, raised in a cramped apartment by a mother who worked long hours to make ends meet. Her mother, who worked in a factory, always tried to shield Annie from their circumstances. But poverty had a way of creeping into their lives. It was ironic that they struggled since Annie's father was wealthy. Annie’s parents met while her father was working in Bangkok. Their relationship, however brief and ill-fated it was, resulted in the birth of a daughter. Once she was born, her father became increasingly detached, visiting sporadically and eventually just sending some money. He never really formed a real bond with his daughter.

As a child, Annie didn’t fully understand why her father was absent. There were times he would send presents. Letters. A call on her birthday. But they felt hollow. Like they were tokens of guilt, not true affection. She was seven, looking out the window, envisioning him pulling up in a taxi with his bags—there to stay. But as she got older, it became clear that he didn’t see her as a priority. She was a part of his past. Someone he could compartmentalize, forgetting about her whenever it suited him.

Annie's intelligence seemed to be her ticket out. But it wasn't like her mother had the money to send her to a private school. They were poor, and many people were forced to choose between what was right and survival. As a young teen, Annie got involved in petty crimes. She was a product of her circumstances—forced to navigate a world where survival often meant breaking the rules. Shoplifting and petty theft turned to breaking and entering and street racing. Her mother's initial denial gave way to frustration and worry. Annie knew her mother was stressed, but she didn't know how bad it truly was.

Unbeknownst to Annie, her mother was sick. She'd been hiding it for months, not wanting to burden Annie. But over time, she grew weaker. One day, as Annie returned home from school, she found her mother collapsed on the floor, body cold, skin pale and clammy. Annie tried to wake her up, shaking her mother frantically, calling her name. But it was too late.

Grief-stricken, Annie tracked down her father in New York. He accepted her with cold politeness but no real warmth. His new wife and two children—her half-siblings—saw her as a stranger. Through all of this, she joined The Society. She currently remains distant from her father and half-siblings. It's been over a decade that she's been in New York now. She's made friends. Dated around. A few years ago, a bad breakup sent her spiraling. It was a whirlwind romance that resulted in the faint pink lines of a positive pregnancy test.

Annie felt a rush of conflicting emotions: fear, disbelief…and a strange sense of excitement. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe her life could take a different path—a fresh start, a family of her own. But as the days went on, the weight of the situation began to settle in. The life she was living, the gang, the constant danger, the crime—none of it was a safe environment to bring a child into. And so Annie terminated her pregnancy, telling her ex after the fact. They ended things shortly thereafter.

Annie’s role in the gang has become an anchor to her identity—both a source of pride and deep regret. While she's incredibly skilled, part of her still clings to the belief that there’s something better for her out there. But each heist, each job, draws her deeper into a web of criminal activity that’s hard to escape.

IV. HEADCANONS.

She can pick a lock in under sixty seconds

Annie carries around hot sauce literally everywhere

She's a night owl and stays up until 5 am sometimes. As such, her sleep schedule is fucked and you can often find her rolling out of bed at noon

She hasn't been in a serious relationship since her ex. Queen of situationships, hookups, end endless tinder dates

more tba

[mariacallous]

The United States is doubling down on its support for Ukraine with a new long-term security deal, to be unveiled at this week’s G-7 summit in Italy. The 10-year deal commits Washington to supporting the Ukrainian military long-term, according to U.S. officials, and comes ahead of a contentious U.S. presidential election that has unnerved European allies over the prospect of former President Donald Trump’s reelection.

As part of the deal, the United States will continue to help train Ukraine’s forces and provide them with weapons. Importantly, unlike NATO’s Article 5 mutual defense clause, the U.S.-Ukraine security pact does not require Washington to send U.S. forces to defend Ukraine in the event of a future attack; however, it does commit Washington to hold high-level consultations with Kyiv within 24 hours of any future attacks.

The agreement would also not be a formal binding treaty, which leaves the door open for Trump to potentially pull out of the deal if he returns to the White House.

The pact is one of at least 31 bilateral security agreements that various countries have signed or are slated to sign with Ukraine in the coming months. Western officials tout these agreements as a sign of their countries’ enduring commitment to help Ukraine in its war against Russia, but Ukraine’s strongest supporters say those bilateral arrangements can’t replace Kyiv’s ultimate goal of joining NATO.

The new arrangement is also part of a raft of measures that are aimed at “Trump-proofing” the NATO and Western commitment to Ukraine—including the alliance establishing a common defense fund for Ukraine worth billions of dollars—though it’s unclear how effective those arrangements would be if Trump regains office.

“No one really wants to be fighting Russia 10 years from now, but a sense of short-termism or an ephemeral commitment from the United States should be banished through the format of this agreement,” said Kristine Berzina, an expert on the U.S. security posture and U.S.-European Union strategic ties at the German Marshall Fund of the United States.

It’s unclear what exactly Trump’s approach to Ukraine would be if he won. Trump hasn’t specified what his Ukraine strategy would look like, leaving room for doubts over U.S. commitments to what many NATO allies see as an existential war for European security. Trump has pushed Europe to take on more of the burden of defending Ukraine against Russia and said he would encourage the Russians to do “whatever the hell they want” if European NATO allies don’t meet their 2 percent defense spending targets. “Even a treaty doesn’t necessarily seem good enough as a guarantee in a Trump administration,” Berzina said.

However, Trump notably dropped his opposition to Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson’s effort to push through a major national security funding package that included billions of dollars of military aid to Ukraine—thereby allowing the package, which had been stalled for months due at least in part to his previous objections, to finally pass.

“While the loudest supporters of Trump in Congress and in the media are talking about ending American support for Ukraine, Trump has been notably silent on that,” said John Herbst, a former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine now at the Atlantic Council. “He essentially gave a yellow light, if not a green light, for Johnson to push the aid package through.”

The new security deal is also meant to send a few other messages. “It’s primarily a signaling effort to show Russia and China in particular that the G-7 remains united in its bid to stay in this for as long as it takes,” said Emily Benson, a senior fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies and the director of its Project on Trade and Technology. It’s also partly an attempt by the Biden administration at “reaffirming leadership” in the wake of limited but impactful far-right party gains in last week’s European Parliament elections that could chip away at European support for Ukraine, she added. “So I think an additional effort to provide security guarantees is good and anticipated.”

Leaders at the G-7 summit are also expected to condemn the Kremlin’s growing ties with North Korea and warn Chinese banks that they will face more Western sanctions if they help Russia evade sanctions, as Foreign Policy reported.

Perhaps most notably, the G-7 will also announce a new initiative to grant $50 billion in loans to Ukraine, funded by the interest on seized Russian assets in Western banks. That loan agreement is likely to be more impactful and longer lasting, although several logistical and legal questions over its implementation still remain.

And though the new U.S.-Ukraine security agreement and those Kyiv has signed with other European countries fall well short of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s ultimate goal of joining NATO, they do seem like a step in that direction. “This agreement is part of what the administration has been calling Ukraine’s bridge to NATO,” Berzina said. “There are concrete steps that when put together will make Ukraine ready to join NATO.”